Ten Drinking Games You Need To Play!

Today I thought we should live up to the name, Wasted Youth, and explain how so many of you are wasting your time and energy by playing…Beer Pong. I love it as much as the next guy but it is time to wake up and smell the fresh vomit stains! There are so many other great drinking games you could be playing and I am here to share the basics of ten great drinking games you should be playing but probably never have!

Buffalo or Water Buffalo- All you need is a drink and people to play with. The rules are simple:
-you cannot hold a drink in your dominate hand. 
-You cannot drink using your dominate hand, and if anyone calls you on it by saying, “Buffalo” then you must finish the drink you are holding right then and there.
   This is a great way to get a small party talking and keeping everyone on their toes. It’s easy to play while passing the time and waiting for your turn on the pong table but also so easy to forget you are playing which is what makes it fun. Be careful though because calling Buffalo to find out someone is using their non-dominate hand results in you having to chug your entire drink.

The Game of Life- No, I do not mean the board game, who wants to sit around and play a game about the thing that is causing them to drink? The game of life although similar to Buffalo is still different. The rules are also simple, you simply have to make sure your drinking vessel, be it bottle, cup or can is damaged in some form or fashion. This keeps you safe, and if at any time someone comes up to you and says, “The Game of Life” you must show them your drink and it’s damage. If you are caught without a damaged vessel you must chug the rest of that drink and promptly grab another.

...Oh and did I forget to mention, once you opt in to play Buffalo or The Game of Life, you are playing forever.

Confidence- is a simple game that requires a few players, a large cup, and a coin of some sort. The game play is straight forward. You begin by pouring some of your drink into the cup as a wager, it can be as little or as much as you want depending on how confident you are. Then you flip the coin and call it in the air. If you are right, you pass the cup to the left (with your drink contents still in it) and the next person repeats, if you are wrong, you must drink the entire contents of the cup!

Thumper- A little more complicated, each player chooses a hand gesture whether it be simple, polite, or sexually enticing, it must be short. The game starts by everyone drumming on the table and someone says, “What’s the name of the game?” everyone must respond, “Thumper!” the leader who started it must then say, “and why do we play?” to which everyone responds, “to get Fucked up!” The leader then performs their hand gesture towards another player who quickly repeats the first gesture and adding their own. Each player must repeat the pattern and add their own until someone misses their Que or is to slow or messes up the pattern and is crowned the “violator.” That person must drink and then begins the next round.

Fuck you- If you have ever played Uno then you will understand fuck you! You deal out an entire deck of cards around the table and the first person plays a card like the 5 of hearts and says Fuck so and so, the person they declare must take five drinks from their drink or if they also have a five can play their five on top of it and declare “Fuck you” to another player passing on the original 5 plus the new five making that person take 10 drinks. At any point someone can throw their matching card on top to make the Fuck more for the drinking player or save that player and pass the new total to a new player. Everyone plays until the last card is assigned and even if you are out of cards you can still be fucked.

Dirty Jenga- Simple, all you need is a Jenga set and a sharpie marker. From there you write different punishments on each block i.e. take a shot, truth or dare, never have I ever, or pass your phone. Think of it like waterfall but with Jenga. Whoever knocks the stack over loses and has to chug the remainder of their drink. Keep in mind that at no point in this game can you have an empty drink.

Battle Shots- I’m not sure if this one needs explaining, it is battle ship but with shots. You can play two ways. The first is where you set up a normal battle ship game and every time your opponent gets a hit you take a shot. The other, which is much more complicated, is where you build your own set up and place the shot glasses on different sectors of the grid. Whenever your opponent hits one of the shots and sinks the shot you must drink it.

Beer Ball / Beer Run- This game has evolved quite quickly in its short lifespan. The original, beer ball is where you set a beer on each end of the table. From the opposite side of the table you try to throw a ball at the beer and hit it. If you hit it you then drink the beer in front of you until your opponent retrieves the ball and places it on the table. Whoever finishes their beer first wins. 
    This game can also be played in teams.

    The evolution which is known as beer run is where you set up 5 cups of beer at the opposite end of the table from the shooter. They shoot the ball and once a cup is made their teammate chugs the beer and has to proceed to flip the cup from its base onto its open mouth before swapping ends with their partner and repeating the process. Whichever team finishes their 5 beers first is the winner. A simple mixture of flip cup and beer pong.

Liars Dice- This one requires a few materials in order to play but is a great game for drinking or gambling. You will need a non-transparent cup for each player and 5 dice. 
    All players shake their dice in their cup (much like Yahtzee) and slam the cup down covering their dice. The player going first looks at their dice and proclaims how many times a selected number occurs on the table. An example of this would be two 3's. The next player then can proclaim there are more of the same number or more of a higher number. If they think the previous player is lying they can call the players bluff and if they think the player is spot on they can also call "spot on." 
    Once a call is made all dice on the table are revealed.
    If you call a bluff and it is correct then the lying player looses the round, takes a drink, and looses a dice. 
    If you call a bluff and it is wrong then you loose the round, take a drink, and loose a dice.
    If you call spot on and are correct then every player except you looses a dice and takes a drink. If you are wrong then you loose a dice and take a drink. 
    the game continues until only one player has dice left. 

True America- The most complex but also exciting game on the list. Imagine the floor is lava meets candy land meets alcoholism.  First you build the castle in the center of the room by placing a bottle of liquor first which is the king. Radiating outward is a 4 rows of beers that are the pawns.

The goal is to traverse the playing spots in the room without touching the floor which means that playing spots are chairs, cushions, tables, etc.

 The game persists of 4 zones created by the angles of the pawns and in those 4 zones are 5 spots to stand.  The center standing spot is the closest to the castle and the only position in which you can take a pawn. 

The goal of the game is to be the first player to land on a center space, have all of the pawns removed and drink from the king. You lose if you touch the lava, do not have a drink or are holding an empty drink. You can come back into the game by drinking a beer and starting at a spot that the other players choose for you.

The game begins by each player shot gunning a beer, the first one done goes first. The winner then yells, “ 1 2 3 JFk” to which all other players respond FDR, grab a pawn and run to a spot. Everyone moves around the field clockwise. Whoever it’s turn is moves 1 space and then provides a chance for everyone else to win a move with 1 of 3 games.

The Count: All players yell 1,2,3 and throw a number of fingers between 1-5 on their fore head, whoever has chosen a number than no one else has chosen gets to move one space.

Complete the Quote: The player begins a quote slowly from history or pop culture and whichever players can complete the quote in tandem win and can move 2 spots.

Something in Common: The player can list two places, people, or things and whoever can declare what these things have in common wins and moves 3 spots.

By laws of True America:

 Everything you hear in true America…is a Lie

When someone finishes a beer they yell, “All trash belongs…” and everyone must respond with, “In the Junk yard!” at which point empty cans are thrown to the designated receptacle.

At any point a player may yell “JFK” and everyone must respond with “FDR” and finish their beer.

Being True to Yourself

    Growing up I had a friend who I truly would call my best friend, not that I only had 1 best friend, but this friend was the one who influenced me the most. The best way to summarize the relationship we had is to look at it in pirate terms. If I were the captain of my rag tag group then he was the first mate. A fairly egotistical metaphor I know but also honest. Why was I the captain and he the first mate, because among the group of rag tag scoundrels I led he was the only one who would not be led, he was the one I went to for my peace of mind and he was the one who always knew where he stood. He and I together were Duality.

    Allow me to explain, growing up I constantly sought out acceptance from others and aimed to fit in by blending in, I was a chameleon, always changing my style and thoughts and trying to be something I was not in order to be cool or even liked. My counterpart, who I will refer to as Doll Face, enjoyed seclusion from others, he stuck to his own views and his own style, never changing who he was even when people tried and tried to crack that porcelain shell.

    My way led me to a life of constant identity questioning and changing, never truly being happy and never truly fitting in anywhere. It made me always see the grass as being greener instead of working to grow my own. His way caused people to flock to him, to want to be associated with him and even made people question what it was that they were even though that was never his goal. Doll Face never wavered to who he was even in temptation and that made him cool to others, it made him that strong quiet type. It made him type that the girls wanted to figure out the mystery behind and the guys wanted to be seen as that mystery. I became known as a loud and outspoken odd ball with brightly colored braces that scared girls away and made the guys want to hit him which is why Doll Face ironically started to call me Stitch Mouth.

    I spent so much time trying to be cool, trying to be funny, trying to be dark, mysterious, trying to be accepted that I never stopped and tried to be myself. Not until 12 years later after I had come to terms that I never took time to meet myself, to stare myself in the eyes, and get to know who I truly was. I didn’t meet myself until I was 26 and had the world fall apart around me, or at least what I thought was the world. That is when I realized that my best me, the me that would have been cool, the me that could have known everyone and done everything is the me who doesn’t care about how he is seen or who he impresses, it is the me that lives life for himself and understands in his own thoughts, his own beliefs and his own ideas. Me that is open to accepting other people’s views and ideas and enjoys every part of life that comes at him.

    I aim to leave every reader with a uplifting thought here at the conclusion, something to inspire them to do more and be more, to achieve their own greatness and today is no different. Today, I ask all of you to stop living to blend in, but instead to stand out. Stop chasing the crowd, but to turn and lead it. Stop being told what to believe and instead believe what is right for you. I ask that you take some time to get to know who you really are before you are simply another face among the mass that goes through the motions of day to day life. 

    Money, the root of all evil, the fuel that makes the world turn! None of us have enough and yet some of us have too much.  Big-E use to say, “Mo Money, Mo problems.” I would much rather have Big-E’s problems than my own…besides the being shot and killed thing. They say that money doesn’t buy you happiness but if that is the case, then why do people with money appear happier than those of us with little to no money.

    I often find myself looking for money in hopes of buying a happier lifestyle and every time I do, I end up unhappier than I ever was. There is a trap we don’t see when we chase money, a trap we cannot escape from and that trap is called the Rat Race. The more money we want, the harder we work, and the harder we work the more money we end up paying back to the hand that feeds us.  It took me years to figure out this trap and sadly I still fall victim to it more often than I should. We have grown up in this living marketplace culture where everything has a price and everyone believes they are guaranteed a piece of the pie. Allow me to be the bearer of bad news and tell you, not everyone gets a piece. No one is guaranteed greatness, no one is promised riches, and none of us handed gold. We all sow what we reap, but not all of us will reap what we sow.

    There is a solution though, something that I constantly have to be reminded myself. Money is fleeting. Possessions deteriorate, and valuables lost, but happiness, peace, and greatness, they all come from within, and they are what will truly make you rich in this world. With those three things you can truly achieve anything you want, you can overcome everything you face, and be the person you were meant to be. It is time that we stop trying to chase money, and instead chase our dreams. It is time we stop living to be someone else, but live to be ourselves! 

Mementos & Memories

    Memories are a great thing. They have the ability to warm our hearts or make us cold with fear. Majority of us don’t need mementos to hold on to those memories and yet we will cherish things for a lifetime because of what it makes us feel. I have 4 items in my house that I have held on to since I was a bright eyes piss ant spending half days at school. Allow me to clarify, that would have been when I was 5. 

   

    The first is a brown teddy bear that my mom tells me she found at a garage sale. I honestly don’t know what age I received him at but I remember this picture of tiny me holding him and having a hat on his head. He was my buddy growing up! I wouldn’t consider him my safety item growing up because I didn’t take him everywhere but I remember always cherishing him. Now, he sits in my closet waiting for the day that I can give him to my kid in hopes that he can be their buddy too.

    The second is my Elmo. Growing up I slept with him by my side every night. I loved it because my mom would come in at night and hold him in front of me and do the Elmo voice. She would move his head around and say things like, “Elmo says that James needs to go to sleep because he has school tomorrow and if he doesn’t sleep we will be in big trouble!” That damn shtick would crack me up every time.

    I remember when I was in my teens a few of my friends found Elmo and monster-napped him. One of them took Elmo back to her place (bow chicka bow wow) and tied him up from the ceiling. I remember having to walk to her place and steal him back. Maybe she let me steal him back and the mission just seems grander in my mind like an Oceans 11 heist.

    I hold on to Elmo in hopes of sharing the voice with my kids one day. I hope that when they want an Elmo I will not have to go buy the $80.00 scream and hump robot dancing Elmo but instead can show them the original I grew up with.

    I also have a patchwork quilt that I slept with every night from when I was 5 all the way through High school. It wasn’t my baby blanket or anything; it was just my favorite cover. My cat use to always come lay on me when I slept with it and nurse on the loose strings that came off of the cover. Today, it sits in my closet more worn out than a Civil War Flag. I don’t plan on passing it on, there isn’t much of it left to pass on, I just haven’t been able to toss it out.

   

    Lastly, is my Power Rangers Dragon Zord. That’s right MoFo’s I still own the original Dragon Zord! It was my favorite toy as a kid! I loved the color green growing up and the dragon was way cooler than that clumsy ass Samurai thing we called the “Mega Zord.” I owned the not so Mega Zord, and the White Tiger Zord but eventually gave those 2 away. I never understood why I held on to the Dragon Zord until my interpersonal communication professor in college asked me to write a letter about my favorite toy growing up. I wish I still had the letter because ti helped me learn a great deal about myself when I was going through a hard time. The letter helped me realize that I identified the color green with courage and the Green Ranger as a leader. I held on to the toy as a symbol to remind myself that I am a leader and it would always reinforce the qualities a great leader should embody. I still have that Zord on my shelf and every so often when things get tough or I doubt myself I look at that Dragon and remind myself who it is I need to be.

    Now, once again this all seems like empty rambling with no sense of inspiration, but bear with me…these mementos are all symbols. They all remind me of great experiences in life and allow me to reflect on the moments that brought me here and made me the person I am today. I want to urge everyone to take a moment and reflect on some of your greatest treasures, on items that mean nothing to anyone but you, and feel the emotions they bring to you. I invite everyone to write about their favorite toy and discover why it was so important to them while growing up. I would love to hear other peoples stories but only if you want to share those feelings and thoughts, sometimes they can be more than we are prepared to handle.  

 

Introduction to: Wasted Youth

    I think I should give a little background as to how this blog came to be and why it is what it is. As of one year today I started my first big boy job. I stepped into corporate America; roughly 5 months ago I became newly single from a relationship that will always play a big factor in my life, and roughly some hour of January 1^st, 2015 I realized that I had let a great deal of my life pass me by.

    Hear me out, that is not to say that I wasted any number of years, No, most of it held great lessons for life. What I mean by “pass me by” is that I spent so much time trying to figure out how to grow up that I never stopped to be a young adult and truly do things that left me with those WTF stories.  

    Wasted Youth summarizes that exact view, those years from 18 to 26 where you live with a sense of little consequence because you feel invincible. I am not saying I don’t have any stories from those years, (I do, and I may share them sometime) but not as many as I should, and defiantly not as crazy as they should be.  Granted that doesn’t mean I plan to make up for those years by acting like a barbarian in life for the next few, but I did make a resolution to live every day to the best of my ability in 2015. Wasted Youth is meant to be a collection of thoughts and experiences that I have learned from my years of constant worry about how to grow up and be an adult and the new adventures I experience in life in the coming years. I want it to be something that makes people think and evaluate, something that makes them laugh and even cry. I honestly just wanted a way to share things with the world that maybe they weren’t seeing themselves.

    I spent my late teens trying to discover what was wrong with me and then again in my early twenties. I spent my early and mid-twenties wondering how to be an adult who could take care of himself and loved ones and someday provide for a family. I spent all of those years constantly wanting to know what I was supposed to do instead of finding it for myself. If you have ever felt lost or confused, ever questioned your purpose or just felt like an outcast than I hope that Wasted Youth can inspire you time and time again but if not, I hope that you take at least one little thing with you from it…Live Your Life!

 

 

Being A Hero

   I use to take pride in this story from my childhood. When I was a wee tot, the exact age escapes me; I remember being in this fun house at the state fair and at the top was this rope bridge that led to the exit. It was sturdy and had multi-colored planks but at the beginning of it was this small boy, maybe 4 or 5, who was afraid to cross. He stood there and cried as other kids just pushed past him and ran across to the slide at the other end. At the bottom of the fun house his mom stood there looking up at him and telling that it was “OK” and to “Come on.”

    I don’t know what it was but something compelled me to help this little guy. I remember crouching down and looking at him and saying something to convince him to give me his hand as we went across the bridge together. His mom at the bottom was cheering him on and applauding him going across and once we had made it safely, like there was any doubt, I let go of his hand and sent him down the slide. Once I was sure he was down I hopped into the tube myself and followed. At the bottom his mom thanked me for helping which at the time meant nothing to me because I was a kid and just thought it was the right thing to do.

    Fast forward to today, 26 years old and I have this one line stuck in my head, a line from The Dark Knight that Harvey Dent says, “You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”

    I am very much alive much like you are, but I can honestly say that at some point in my life I stopped helping small children cross safe bridges and face their own fears and instead became the kid who pushes past. That sounds a little harsher than it really is but I want to keep it that way for my point. I feel like the older I have become the colder I have become. I feel like I pass up on more chances to help those in need than I do help and what is worse is that I don’t feel much of anything in doing so.

    Why did I stop trying to be the hero and instead started being the villain? When did I stop being there for those who need it and instead start focusing on me? Is it the world that has made me so cold to doing the right thing? Every day you hear about people doing the wrong thing. Every day you experience someone getting steps ahead of you by watching out for their self. Every day you notice how you seem too loose while someone else plays the game and wins. The world has possibly made us cold to an idea of a greater cause but isn’t that always the struggle of a true hero, to take on the weight of the world while everyone else is benefiting from it or breaking the rules to get their way?

    The answer is simple, the world isn’t black and white, it isn’t Batman and Joker, or Good and Evil. The world is a scheme of grey that allows us to choose where our actions fall on the spectrum. We have the option to help push that car down the road to the gas station or give that person dressed in rags a few dollars. What is stopping us from being a hero in the eyes of your friends, children, and lover? Nothing forces us to do good or bad, we choose to, but the real question here is: Are we all slowly becoming the villain, and if so, is it too late to die a hero?

Fantasy and Effect

    You walk into a dark cave with a cold draft; your only light is the torch you hold in your hand. You step slowly into the cavern and listen to your footsteps echo and in the distance you hear a faint dripping sound which may be your only salvation, water. The faint light illuminates the ground as you step forward and hear a large crunch; under your foot are the fragments of a human skull. You sense danger in the area which is confirmed by the sound of a deep growl ahead of you. The walls begin to taper in as you come to a small opening. You squeeze your arms in tight and begin to slide through the small crevice, the deeper you go the smaller your pathway gets. Your torch goes out but in the distance you see a small gleam, not a flicker but more like a small sliver of pure white light. You approach the light as it begins to grow in size. The walls of the cavern come into focus and the stone is a deep red color. You hear another growl and grow hesitant while making your way forward. The light begins to engulf you and burn your eyes as you step out of the cave and into an open field. The grass sways in the wind and the sun warms your skin for a brief moment before you notice a movement in the distance. You focus on the movement and notice it coming at you fast. It cuts to the left and then quickly jumps to the right trying to psych you out. You grasp at your weapon and draw it from its sheath but it is too late, you are now standing face to face with….YOUR LIFE!

 

    I know, a very odd opening but don’t worry because it is about to make sense. Today I want to talk to you all about FANTASY. I don’t mean fantasy fiction or fantasy creatures; no I mean the idea that so many of us live our lives dwelling in fucking fantasy worlds! You may be thinking that I am full of shit and that you spend no time in a fantasy but be honest, you do.

    Fantasy has taken on a great deal of forms in our world today. Many of us have basic ways to lose ourselves in fantasy worlds. Social Media has become the greatest fantasy to date. We wake up and spend so much time loosing ourselves in apps like Facebook or Twitter and quickly stop caring about the real world. We can argue that watching social media is an attempt to keep up with the real world and know what is happening in the world but what are we really doing? We are reading “articles” titled “25 moments that blankity blank did blanking blank” or stalking our ex’s and expressing our dislike for shit that really doesn’t matter. This is fine, I understand that we all need a break from the work day and I honestly should not complain because you most likely took a link from Facebook to even read this blog but there are so many people you see who live their lives on social media, glued to their phones and tablets, and never stop to look up and actually see the world right there around them. There is a great short film I find very inspiring about this whole issue by Gary Turk, if you haven’t seen it then I highly recommend you check it out here: http://youtu.be/Z7dLU6fk9QY  No seriously, go ahead, I’ll wait.

    I haven’t put it as elegantly as Turk but I do want to share the same message, we should live our lives and follow our dreams, quit worrying about posts and focus on sharing the big things, not with everyone and anyone but those we truly love and hope that in the end we can admire what we have done.

    With that being said, I can’t digress because there is still a great deal of fantasy to address. There are other forms of fantasy that keep us from moving and it’s because it offers an abundance of movies. Netflix and Hulu are two things that have given us so much control and yet such little free will, the power to pause and resume has killed our drive to seek out thrills. I love having my shows at the touch of a button but binge watching has become a speed bump in life. We tell ourselves just one more episode but then it becomes two, and three, and then four hours later you are starting season five and the day has gone by. We lose focus on the things that really matter and instead begin to wonder which character we would be if lost on an island. I know what you are thinking, there are plenty more fantasies than that, like Video Games, and Porn, and even Reddit. I could be doing more with my time, like cleaning my attic instead of playing Call of Duty like some kind of addict.

    I am not writing this to tell you all that we should stop using these things, not in the slightest. I understand that the real world can suck and often comes at us. What I hope to say is that we use these things to escape out problems. We hide ourselves in issues that don’t matter or games that distract us in order to not deal with the issues around us. We cannot avoid drama, nor can we hide from it so why don’t we step back from our fantasy and just take on the world and whatever it throws at us.

That Moment of Clarity-What I Got

    There are times when you have been dragged through the mud, kicked while you are down, spat on, and left to lay there in the pouring rain. When these moments occur in life it is hard to see the bright side of things, it is hard to appreciate who we are. Often, in these times or hardship, something right in front of us finally comes into focus and we can finally understand what it really means.

  I have recently had one of these epiphanies and it has really opened my eyes to a whole new idea. This may sound dumb to many of you or even pointless but in all honesty I never truly understood Sublimes, “What I got” until recently when things came together and the words became clear.

 

"Early in the morning, risin' to the street

Light me up that cigarette and I strap shoes on my feet

(This is truly how I feel every morning, this obligation to get up and go out although I would rather sleep just an hour more or kick back all day)

 

Got to find a reason, a reason things went wrong

Got to find a reason why my money's all gone

(I constantly find myself worrying if I am broke, and if I am, how I plan to survive the next week. I over analyze every little thing that happens to me as if it is the biggest failure in my life)

 

I got a dalmation, and I can still get high

 I can play the guitar like a mother fucking riot

(No truth here, I have a dog, Akita/Shepherd mix, and I suck at Guitar)

 Well, life is (too short), so love the one you got

 'Cause you might get runover or you might get shot

 Never start no static I just get it off my chest

 Never had to battle with no bulletproof vest

 Take a small example, take a tip from me

 Take all of your money, give it all to charity

 Love is what I got

 It's within my reach

 And the Sublime style's still straight from Long Beach

 It all comes back to you, you'll finally get what you deserve

 Try and test that you're bound to get served

 Love's what I got

 Don't start a riot

 You'll feel it when the dance gets hot

(The chorus, this is where it all finally makes sense to me. We have such a limited number of days to enjoy this world and none of us knows when that time is up or what will take us out but we can make the most of it and prolong it the most we can if we don’t stress, live every day to the fullest, and openly accept the world with love. Once we have lived our lives for ourselves and show compassion and love to others we create a brighter world and in doing so good fortune will fall back on us.)

 Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that

 Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that

 Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that

 Lovin', is what I got

 

 (That's) why I don't cry when my dog runs away

 I don't get angry at the bills I have to pay

(I don’t cry when Tazz gets out, I honestly trust him to come home once he gets tired of sniffing around and I know that in order to enjoy the things I do it will cost money, so why fret or get upset about it? Why curse at the bill collectors if you get hit with a late fee, you knew you had to pay it so shrug it off and keep going.)

 I don't get angry when my Mom smokes pot

 Hits the bottle and goes right to the rock

 Fuckin' and fightin', it's all the same

 Livin' with Louie dog's the only way to stay sane

 Let the lovin', let the lovin' come back to me

( I have nothing for this part, luckily my moms are both very straight laced people who don’t depend on toxins in order to feel well but as someone who does smoke and drink I must say that it is part of my young adult years so no reason to get mad at myself.)

 Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that

 Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that

 Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that

 Lovin', is what I got, I got I got I got 

    Now after that I am sure many of you are rolling your eyes because I am that late to the party or I sound like some hippie talking about living a care free lifestyle. Honestly, I am just trying to say that if we quit sweating the small stuff we can enjoy everything the world has to offer.

    When 2015 began I made a resolution to live every day to the fullest and be there for those who truly want me around. It is now February 4^th and I can honestly say that I have kept up with this resolution and experienced some very crazy nights, some oddly inappropriate nights, and even nights of pure relaxation. I have spent more time with family and friends than I have in the past and have even taken on new goals. What I am trying to say is if you share happiness, respect, and love with the world, good things will happen, you just have to know how to accept them.

    Also, just in case reading the lyrics weren’t enough hit the link below and enjoy…or hell, just turn your damn IPod on because we all have this song!

http://youtu.be/0Uc3ZrmhDN4

 

 

That Empty Feeling...

    I am sitting here tonight and waiting for a cup of mint green tea to brew and thinking about a feeling. Honestly, I am thinking of the lack of a feeling. It is safe to say that we have all felt a feeling of emptiness before, and I don’t mean hunger, I mean an internal emptiness. It is best described as when you feel hollow inside, like nothing you do really matters.

    I know I have felt this feeling and I am sure many of you have as well. I struggled with the feeling a great deal in my early adult years and at times I still do. I have spent a great deal of time combating that feeling and its many different forms. I think we as people can feel empty whenever different things are lacking in our life.

 

  

 

  I know that one of the biggest times I have to battle the emptiness is when I am single and alone. I think that when we are single we believe there is something wrong with us and we start a quest to pinpoint what it is. We begin to analyze every aspect of ourselves and try to change anything we can in hopes of finding a way to fill that emptiness. I believe that we fail to recognize what it is we have to offer to the world because that emptiness consumes us all and begins to break us down as people. The problem is that we have been lead to believe that we are failing because we are alone. Television, Storybooks, and even Music have convinced us that love is the all-powerful and without it you are an outcast. The world isn’t a fairytale and we are not worthless because we are single. We need to learn that this time alone is a time for us to grow and strengthen ourselves, a time to appreciate who we are and discover what we really have to offer the world. This may be one of the hardest forms of emptiness to combat but once you do there is so much you can learn about yourself.

    Loneliness is not the only reason we can feel empty, another form is feeling unaccomplished. When you look at your life and see this routine for every day and every night you can start to feel empty. That feeling of going nowhere and striving for nothing can really bring a person down. I think a big factor to do with this is also one that may be hard to beat. Technology, it has given us the ability of instant gratification and because of that our long sighted goals have come to a near extinction because we constantly want to feel good and can achieve small boosts of that feeling quickly now simply by finding a funny video online or reading a post on Facebook. Imagine it as a cigarette smoker, 5 minutes of quick endorphins that perk you up for a short while before you do it again. The more you do it, the more of a tolerance you build and then suddenly it becomes a constant in order to feel good. Instant gratification has become the number one drug of America and it is killing our drive to achieve bigger things. It saps away the feeling of a big accomplishment or anything we do that gives us a reason to live.

    I think it is time we find ways to stop feeling empty at such young ages and start enjoying the things we can accomplish. We stop seeking out instant gratification and basic human connection but instead we take on a big task and feel that surge of power from completing it. We put ourselves out there and truly get to know people before writing them off or using them for our own endorphin rush.  I say we all need to find our true selves, our true passions, and our true goals and make sure that each and every one of them meets completion. That is how we overcome any feeling of emptiness, to always be pushing a little further or trying a little more.

Being a Better You!

    Sitting here tonight, doing a great deal of self-evaluating while drinking what I like to call a Tennessee Tango but most would refer to as a Whiskey Sour. There are some nights where you just cannot escape everything that is bubbling inside of you, and I don’t mean guts. Often when I start to reflect on myself I think back on things I have done that have got me here. Some nights they are the good things, others they are the bad. Tonight in particular I was thinking about the things I do when I am single, and how they affect me. It is funny how sometimes you stumble across the best things to help you through the mood you are in, tonight was one of those nights.

    I love to read a blog by James Michael Sama known as “The New Chivalry Movement” because it inspires me to be a better man. Tonight I strolled across a post of his that really hit home with me, like many of his writings do. The entry in mention is titled, “10 Dating Norms You Need To Stop Accepting.” Tonight, I would like to reflect on some of these and my past actions and where I would like to be in the near future.

Having to keep working for their approval:

Sama defines this one simply as, “A man or woman should be with you because they value and appreciate who you are, not what you do or how well you sell yourself to them.”

    I can honestly say that I believe that majority of the people in my life do appreciate me for who I am. I think they appreciate the fact that I am a cut up, very off-the-cuff, outgoing person who also knows when to straighten up and act right. I also believe that they appreciate that I always try to be there for the big things and most of the small things, but I’m not focusing on this one because of how people see me, no, I honestly feel I have victimized people with this idea. I honestly feel I have put out a great deal of negative vibes into the world in the past by expecting more from people than I should and not accepting them when they fail. It is something that I can recognize now and can honestly hope that I learn from and can focus on not doing so in the future.

Continuously repeating the same mistakes:

“Someone who keeps promising to change or do things differently, but repeatedly doesn’t, is showing you a clear pattern…”

    I am very guilty of this one as well, which I assume we all are. I have fallen for this one myself and sadly have used this tactic in the past to get my way. It is a sad tactic for anyone to use but personally I look back at the times I did and shake my head at that younger me. A real man doesn’t promise to change; he shows you change and lives up to that decision every day. I aim to never use this “promise of change” ever again and instead to be honest and show change.

Cheating:

“Some people think that second chances are acceptable. I, on the other hand, think that if someone discarded your feelings enough to cheat on you once, they’ll do it again.”

    I agree, people are creatures of habit and when they succumb to their primal urges it shows a weak will. What is worse is that cheating has become so second nature to such a number of people these days that it doesn’t have an impact like it used to.  Cheating is an interesting term, everyone defines what it is in their own ways but if at any point you feel that you have been cheated then it is time to go your separate ways, odds are the cheater is going to promise to change and then repeat the cycle.

Invasion of privacy:

“In a healthy relationship, there is no need to hide anything. Texts, emails, Facebook messages – whatever. But that doesn’t mean your partner has the right to snoop through them…”

    Again, I am guilty as charged and feel that this is one the new world will have an issue with. With everyone posting everything that they can it creates a sense of distress when someone hides something from you. If you don’t believe me get a group of friends together and have one of them show everyone in the group a photo or text except for 1 person, Majority of people will ask what it is or why they didn’t get to see. Think about how you feel when you walk up to someone showing another person something online, your interest is peaked. What we have forgotten is that everyone is due their privacy even in a relationship. I do agree though, in a truly solid relationship you should be able to tell your other-half anything.

   At this point I want to digress, there are plenty more that Sama writes about and I agree with them all but I feel like these are the major ones that I personally need to work on. Granted I have experienced one side or the other, and sometimes both of every single one of his suggested ideas and could sit here and write about these experiences in depth but I honestly wrote this as a form of self-reflection and pointing fingers at others is not worth the effort. We have all made mistakes, we all have our flaws, and we all will experience these at times, but the real goal to anything and everything we do should always be to constantly better ourselves.

If you would like to read more of James Michael Sama’s work then please use the link below, I promise you won’t be disappointed.

http://jamesmsama.com/

Elders and Knowledge

  





  Sitting here tonight, alone on what it a chilly and dark night that follows a day full of rain, drinking water, yes water and I am thinking about a conversation I had with my Grand Ma earlier. It was just a quick exchange about nothing important but it got me thinking. There will come a day where you will realize that one of your grandparents is somewhat of a smartass. After that you will start to remember growing up with them and recall some great things. That is what I did tonight, and it got me thinking about all of my grandparents.

    I was lucky enough to have more than the standard 4 grandparents in my life, somehow I managed to meet end up with seven grandparents and each of them was a character in their own way. I wanted to take a moment to recognize them and just share some memories I have with them and of them.

Grandpa T:

    Of all of my grandparents this is the only one I never got to know. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to; if anything he intrigues me the most because he passed before I even existed. I remember this picture of him sitting on this hutch in Grandma T’s place. He looked a great deal like my dad but with longer hair in the picture. I never really get to hear stories about him but from the few I have I get the impression that he was a hardworking man. Honestly the most I have ever heard about him is that he once operated a gas station and that back in those days you could only get gas on certain days because it was regulated by the government during wartime and your license plate determined which days you could pump. I imagine if my dad is anything like his father then that must be where his dedication to prove comes from.

Grandma T:

    I knew Grandma T for most of my childhood. She passed when I was twenty if I recall correctly. She was always stern while I was growing up. She wasn’t a fan of horseplay but she was still a caretaker. She would always offer you something to drink and to help with anything you did when you were over. I remember she always had a bowl of peanut M&M’s by her kitchen and when the grandkids came over those things were like gold! We never really thanked her for having those; I guess we just always expected them to be there. I think her passing has really taken a toll on the family dynamic, we use to gather at least 3 to 4 times a year back then and now it seems like we only come together once a year and in fractured groups. I never really understood her sternness when I was younger but now I look back and realize she was the kind of woman who survived through some hard times and had to be a strong woman to do so; especially with 7 kids.

Grandma K and Grandpa K:

    These two amaze me constantly; there are few people in the world who are as open and caring as these two. I honestly cannot say I have met many people who have opened their home to complete strangers and treated them like part of the family. These two embody that old married couple so well and to see all of the friends and family they have made over the years is just amazing. I would love to read a book written by these two of just everything they have experienced to this day. It is a shame I have not got to be as close to these two as my sisters have but I am happy to have them in my life as such positive role models.

Grandpa V:

    This is another grandparent I barely got to know but I did for a bit whenever I saw him. My mother says I really don’t know him but honestly I feel like I have a great deal of his genes in me. He always seemed like the free-living, think outside of the box kind of guy and I pride myself on being able to do that so well. I’m not sure how judgmental he was but I would like to think my liberal views may stem some from him. He was a pack rat which I can defiantly say has been a task for me to overcome in life, but eventually you have to tell yourself that you don’t  need the token as long as you have the memory.

Grandma B:

    This would be the grandparent I am the closes to and the one who got me thinking about all of this. I said earlier, there will be a day when you realize one of your grandparents is a smartass. I’m not saying she is a direct and belligerent smartass, but she definitely has a way with words and the ability to hold her own. I remember being younger and staying over at her place every so often. We would always watch Nick-at-Night and eat slices of cheese and apples while watching I Love Lucy. This may be where my love of cheese comes from, thanks Granny; I’ll have horrible cholesterol forever now. As I grew older I did what most people do, pulled away from family and thought I knew everything about life. When I was 18-20, Grandma V, my mom, and I all lived in a house and I started to grow closer to her again. Now that I am 26 I can honestly say I have had some very odd and interesting conversations with her about everything, life, love, and family. I gotta say that I wouldn’t trade her for the world.

Grandpa B:

    Grandpa B was a grandparent that I wish I had not been so afraid of. When I was younger I remember him taking my cousin and I to Dairy Queen and buying us ice cream while he caught up with his buddies. He was also a stern type and a little set in his ways but all around he was good with me. I wish I had got to know him better, when he passed I found his old briefcase filled with cards from co-workers wishing him to get better soon and happy birthdays. Some of the things I read in those cards made me wonder if I had ever really knew the true Grand-dad-B. I always loved playing on his boat and messing around in his vegetable garden. I often get the urge to garden myself but never follow through because I have such a horrible green thumb. On my 26^th birthday I rented a boat and went out on Joe Pool Lake, for some reason the open air on that lake and the trees all around it just felt right to me, I wonder if playing on his boat as a kid made it all feel like second nature. Some Sundays, he would fry catfish for dinner and honestly I haven’t had a piece of fried catfish that good since.

    Thinking about this makes me wonder if we take our time with our loved ones for granted, and if we ever really stop to listen to our elders and take in the knowledge of life that they have to offer. When you really stop think about it, they have been through everything we have and made it through alive, and hell they had to do it without cell-phones, facebook, and prescription drugs for almost every ailment. Maybe we should sit down and listen for a bit, take something in, and see if we don’t walk away with a new life lesson. I invite any and all of you to write about your grandparents too and to feel free to post it down on the comment box, or e-mail me, or even on the facebook post.