Judgment: Gay Marriage

    I am not a judgmental person, if anything I may be to accepting of everything and everyone. I have my views and my stances on certain aspects of the world but honestly I believe we spend too much time worrying and judging others about things that will ultimately have no impact on us as individuals. One that truly irks me is the constant issue with Gay and Lesbian marriage rights. I am supportive of the Gay and Lesbian communities struggle and see no issue in allowing them to marry.

    I don’t understand why so many people get worked up over this concept and lack any logical outlook on the issue. It appears that the first big defense of the Anti-Gay-Marriage types is that The Bible states it is wrong, or to put it in their own words, “It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.” That is the most fucking ignorant line I have ever heard in my life by the way! The Bible tells us a lot of things and I honestly believe that one of the largest lessons in it, one that outweighs majority of its ideals, is to “love thy neighbor.”

    Why do we spend so much time judging the way that others choose to live and love and point this finger of judgment at others when many of us are committing our own sins? There is a simple solution to nullify this use of religion in fighting Gay and Lesbian marriage and it is rather simple, just don’t recognize said unions through the church! Seriously, if your strongest argument is that God hates gays, then you are ignorant because we are told that God is forgiving and loves all of his children, and if the church is against these unions then simply allow the unions to take place through the State but not the Church. I understand that this idea is not ideal for any Gay or Lesbian couples that are also religious but keep in mind that it is a small victory in a much larger battle. The Blacks didn’t win all of their rights in one day, nor did Women, and the Jews had to run away and wander the desert for 40 years to even have a chance at what they wanted!

    How is it going to affect me if two people of the same gender want to spend their lives together? If anything I say more power to them for finding someone that makes them happy and inspires them to spend their life with another person! I would love to say that it affects me by removing people from the dating world but even then it doesn’t because they are not potential options in my dating pool, no they are over in their own pools having a blast on the water slides and chilling next to the poolside bar!

    I believe it is time that we quit judging people for their sexuality and stop using the term gay as some form of insult or way to attack others, and instead accept that the world is a changing place and people will love who they love. I have no right to question why anyone ends up with who they do and honestly believe I should only show concern when there are noticeable issues in a relationship like abusive natures or lack of support. I urge everyone to honestly consider how it would affect you if Gay and Lesbian marriage was legal and if it would truly ruin your life in any way?

 P.S Anyone who agrees or dis-agrees with these views please feel free to comment or write me back with a response of some sort. I have no shame in discussing this topic or any topic with anyone and would love to consider the opposite point of view on reasonable arguments.

Introduction to: Wasted Youth

    I think I should give a little background as to how this blog came to be and why it is what it is. As of one year today I started my first big boy job. I stepped into corporate America; roughly 5 months ago I became newly single from a relationship that will always play a big factor in my life, and roughly some hour of January 1^st, 2015 I realized that I had let a great deal of my life pass me by.

    Hear me out, that is not to say that I wasted any number of years, No, most of it held great lessons for life. What I mean by “pass me by” is that I spent so much time trying to figure out how to grow up that I never stopped to be a young adult and truly do things that left me with those WTF stories.  

    Wasted Youth summarizes that exact view, those years from 18 to 26 where you live with a sense of little consequence because you feel invincible. I am not saying I don’t have any stories from those years, (I do, and I may share them sometime) but not as many as I should, and defiantly not as crazy as they should be.  Granted that doesn’t mean I plan to make up for those years by acting like a barbarian in life for the next few, but I did make a resolution to live every day to the best of my ability in 2015. Wasted Youth is meant to be a collection of thoughts and experiences that I have learned from my years of constant worry about how to grow up and be an adult and the new adventures I experience in life in the coming years. I want it to be something that makes people think and evaluate, something that makes them laugh and even cry. I honestly just wanted a way to share things with the world that maybe they weren’t seeing themselves.

    I spent my late teens trying to discover what was wrong with me and then again in my early twenties. I spent my early and mid-twenties wondering how to be an adult who could take care of himself and loved ones and someday provide for a family. I spent all of those years constantly wanting to know what I was supposed to do instead of finding it for myself. If you have ever felt lost or confused, ever questioned your purpose or just felt like an outcast than I hope that Wasted Youth can inspire you time and time again but if not, I hope that you take at least one little thing with you from it…Live Your Life!

 

 

That Moment of Clarity-What I Got

    There are times when you have been dragged through the mud, kicked while you are down, spat on, and left to lay there in the pouring rain. When these moments occur in life it is hard to see the bright side of things, it is hard to appreciate who we are. Often, in these times or hardship, something right in front of us finally comes into focus and we can finally understand what it really means.

  I have recently had one of these epiphanies and it has really opened my eyes to a whole new idea. This may sound dumb to many of you or even pointless but in all honesty I never truly understood Sublimes, “What I got” until recently when things came together and the words became clear.

 

"Early in the morning, risin' to the street

Light me up that cigarette and I strap shoes on my feet

(This is truly how I feel every morning, this obligation to get up and go out although I would rather sleep just an hour more or kick back all day)

 

Got to find a reason, a reason things went wrong

Got to find a reason why my money's all gone

(I constantly find myself worrying if I am broke, and if I am, how I plan to survive the next week. I over analyze every little thing that happens to me as if it is the biggest failure in my life)

 

I got a dalmation, and I can still get high

 I can play the guitar like a mother fucking riot

(No truth here, I have a dog, Akita/Shepherd mix, and I suck at Guitar)

 Well, life is (too short), so love the one you got

 'Cause you might get runover or you might get shot

 Never start no static I just get it off my chest

 Never had to battle with no bulletproof vest

 Take a small example, take a tip from me

 Take all of your money, give it all to charity

 Love is what I got

 It's within my reach

 And the Sublime style's still straight from Long Beach

 It all comes back to you, you'll finally get what you deserve

 Try and test that you're bound to get served

 Love's what I got

 Don't start a riot

 You'll feel it when the dance gets hot

(The chorus, this is where it all finally makes sense to me. We have such a limited number of days to enjoy this world and none of us knows when that time is up or what will take us out but we can make the most of it and prolong it the most we can if we don’t stress, live every day to the fullest, and openly accept the world with love. Once we have lived our lives for ourselves and show compassion and love to others we create a brighter world and in doing so good fortune will fall back on us.)

 Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that

 Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that

 Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that

 Lovin', is what I got

 

 (That's) why I don't cry when my dog runs away

 I don't get angry at the bills I have to pay

(I don’t cry when Tazz gets out, I honestly trust him to come home once he gets tired of sniffing around and I know that in order to enjoy the things I do it will cost money, so why fret or get upset about it? Why curse at the bill collectors if you get hit with a late fee, you knew you had to pay it so shrug it off and keep going.)

 I don't get angry when my Mom smokes pot

 Hits the bottle and goes right to the rock

 Fuckin' and fightin', it's all the same

 Livin' with Louie dog's the only way to stay sane

 Let the lovin', let the lovin' come back to me

( I have nothing for this part, luckily my moms are both very straight laced people who don’t depend on toxins in order to feel well but as someone who does smoke and drink I must say that it is part of my young adult years so no reason to get mad at myself.)

 Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that

 Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that

 Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that

 Lovin', is what I got, I got I got I got 

    Now after that I am sure many of you are rolling your eyes because I am that late to the party or I sound like some hippie talking about living a care free lifestyle. Honestly, I am just trying to say that if we quit sweating the small stuff we can enjoy everything the world has to offer.

    When 2015 began I made a resolution to live every day to the fullest and be there for those who truly want me around. It is now February 4^th and I can honestly say that I have kept up with this resolution and experienced some very crazy nights, some oddly inappropriate nights, and even nights of pure relaxation. I have spent more time with family and friends than I have in the past and have even taken on new goals. What I am trying to say is if you share happiness, respect, and love with the world, good things will happen, you just have to know how to accept them.

    Also, just in case reading the lyrics weren’t enough hit the link below and enjoy…or hell, just turn your damn IPod on because we all have this song!

http://youtu.be/0Uc3ZrmhDN4

 

 

That Empty Feeling...

    I am sitting here tonight and waiting for a cup of mint green tea to brew and thinking about a feeling. Honestly, I am thinking of the lack of a feeling. It is safe to say that we have all felt a feeling of emptiness before, and I don’t mean hunger, I mean an internal emptiness. It is best described as when you feel hollow inside, like nothing you do really matters.

    I know I have felt this feeling and I am sure many of you have as well. I struggled with the feeling a great deal in my early adult years and at times I still do. I have spent a great deal of time combating that feeling and its many different forms. I think we as people can feel empty whenever different things are lacking in our life.

 

  

 

  I know that one of the biggest times I have to battle the emptiness is when I am single and alone. I think that when we are single we believe there is something wrong with us and we start a quest to pinpoint what it is. We begin to analyze every aspect of ourselves and try to change anything we can in hopes of finding a way to fill that emptiness. I believe that we fail to recognize what it is we have to offer to the world because that emptiness consumes us all and begins to break us down as people. The problem is that we have been lead to believe that we are failing because we are alone. Television, Storybooks, and even Music have convinced us that love is the all-powerful and without it you are an outcast. The world isn’t a fairytale and we are not worthless because we are single. We need to learn that this time alone is a time for us to grow and strengthen ourselves, a time to appreciate who we are and discover what we really have to offer the world. This may be one of the hardest forms of emptiness to combat but once you do there is so much you can learn about yourself.

    Loneliness is not the only reason we can feel empty, another form is feeling unaccomplished. When you look at your life and see this routine for every day and every night you can start to feel empty. That feeling of going nowhere and striving for nothing can really bring a person down. I think a big factor to do with this is also one that may be hard to beat. Technology, it has given us the ability of instant gratification and because of that our long sighted goals have come to a near extinction because we constantly want to feel good and can achieve small boosts of that feeling quickly now simply by finding a funny video online or reading a post on Facebook. Imagine it as a cigarette smoker, 5 minutes of quick endorphins that perk you up for a short while before you do it again. The more you do it, the more of a tolerance you build and then suddenly it becomes a constant in order to feel good. Instant gratification has become the number one drug of America and it is killing our drive to achieve bigger things. It saps away the feeling of a big accomplishment or anything we do that gives us a reason to live.

    I think it is time we find ways to stop feeling empty at such young ages and start enjoying the things we can accomplish. We stop seeking out instant gratification and basic human connection but instead we take on a big task and feel that surge of power from completing it. We put ourselves out there and truly get to know people before writing them off or using them for our own endorphin rush.  I say we all need to find our true selves, our true passions, and our true goals and make sure that each and every one of them meets completion. That is how we overcome any feeling of emptiness, to always be pushing a little further or trying a little more.

Being a Better You!

    Sitting here tonight, doing a great deal of self-evaluating while drinking what I like to call a Tennessee Tango but most would refer to as a Whiskey Sour. There are some nights where you just cannot escape everything that is bubbling inside of you, and I don’t mean guts. Often when I start to reflect on myself I think back on things I have done that have got me here. Some nights they are the good things, others they are the bad. Tonight in particular I was thinking about the things I do when I am single, and how they affect me. It is funny how sometimes you stumble across the best things to help you through the mood you are in, tonight was one of those nights.

    I love to read a blog by James Michael Sama known as “The New Chivalry Movement” because it inspires me to be a better man. Tonight I strolled across a post of his that really hit home with me, like many of his writings do. The entry in mention is titled, “10 Dating Norms You Need To Stop Accepting.” Tonight, I would like to reflect on some of these and my past actions and where I would like to be in the near future.

Having to keep working for their approval:

Sama defines this one simply as, “A man or woman should be with you because they value and appreciate who you are, not what you do or how well you sell yourself to them.”

    I can honestly say that I believe that majority of the people in my life do appreciate me for who I am. I think they appreciate the fact that I am a cut up, very off-the-cuff, outgoing person who also knows when to straighten up and act right. I also believe that they appreciate that I always try to be there for the big things and most of the small things, but I’m not focusing on this one because of how people see me, no, I honestly feel I have victimized people with this idea. I honestly feel I have put out a great deal of negative vibes into the world in the past by expecting more from people than I should and not accepting them when they fail. It is something that I can recognize now and can honestly hope that I learn from and can focus on not doing so in the future.

Continuously repeating the same mistakes:

“Someone who keeps promising to change or do things differently, but repeatedly doesn’t, is showing you a clear pattern…”

    I am very guilty of this one as well, which I assume we all are. I have fallen for this one myself and sadly have used this tactic in the past to get my way. It is a sad tactic for anyone to use but personally I look back at the times I did and shake my head at that younger me. A real man doesn’t promise to change; he shows you change and lives up to that decision every day. I aim to never use this “promise of change” ever again and instead to be honest and show change.

Cheating:

“Some people think that second chances are acceptable. I, on the other hand, think that if someone discarded your feelings enough to cheat on you once, they’ll do it again.”

    I agree, people are creatures of habit and when they succumb to their primal urges it shows a weak will. What is worse is that cheating has become so second nature to such a number of people these days that it doesn’t have an impact like it used to.  Cheating is an interesting term, everyone defines what it is in their own ways but if at any point you feel that you have been cheated then it is time to go your separate ways, odds are the cheater is going to promise to change and then repeat the cycle.

Invasion of privacy:

“In a healthy relationship, there is no need to hide anything. Texts, emails, Facebook messages – whatever. But that doesn’t mean your partner has the right to snoop through them…”

    Again, I am guilty as charged and feel that this is one the new world will have an issue with. With everyone posting everything that they can it creates a sense of distress when someone hides something from you. If you don’t believe me get a group of friends together and have one of them show everyone in the group a photo or text except for 1 person, Majority of people will ask what it is or why they didn’t get to see. Think about how you feel when you walk up to someone showing another person something online, your interest is peaked. What we have forgotten is that everyone is due their privacy even in a relationship. I do agree though, in a truly solid relationship you should be able to tell your other-half anything.

   At this point I want to digress, there are plenty more that Sama writes about and I agree with them all but I feel like these are the major ones that I personally need to work on. Granted I have experienced one side or the other, and sometimes both of every single one of his suggested ideas and could sit here and write about these experiences in depth but I honestly wrote this as a form of self-reflection and pointing fingers at others is not worth the effort. We have all made mistakes, we all have our flaws, and we all will experience these at times, but the real goal to anything and everything we do should always be to constantly better ourselves.

If you would like to read more of James Michael Sama’s work then please use the link below, I promise you won’t be disappointed.

http://jamesmsama.com/