The History of: Me

    It has been roughly a month or so since I have posted a blog and there are a few reasons for that. I have been busy with the daily grind and focusing on a few new things but tonight I wanted to take some time to write an entry that I have been meaning to write for some time.

    When I was a junior in Highschool I joined the school newspaper and that is one of the key moments in my life where I realized that I really enjoyed writing. There was another key factor much earlier in life before this but I will write about that another time. Recently I was cleaning out my house and I stumbled across the self-summary I had to write for English class. This same English teacher was the head of the school paper. Below, is the exact essay written word for word and letter for letter that I submitted to that teacher as my first assignment.

Dear M. Ferris

    As a student I can be very odd and entertaining. I am usually a jokester inside and out of the class and try to keep a bit of humor in everything.

    I like to be treated fairly, as long as im not the example all the time i’m okay. Its easiest to get along with me in any way. I connect with interesting teachers and boring teachers I dont connect with.

    I dont like reading aloud because it goes slow, and presentations always cause that stomach churning feeling. Group work is something I avoid so im not stuck doing all the work. Writings great but sometimes there are points where you cant explain what you want too.

    I’m a fairly well writer if its fiction; non-fiction is to solid for me to write, it has form and facts and fiction is what you make it. My weakest skills in English is spelling and keeping my vocabulary use simple, both I would like improve on.

    Thinking of previous English classes I realise I only did bad when I did’nt respect the teacher, I felt that way towards Mrs.Sneed.

    I would like to accomplish a high grade in this class but evaluation is your choice. I’d rather not be judged by my ideas or outlooks because their so odd.

    I play guitar and draw and write, im also interested in being a movie writer or show writer or possibly an animator of my own show. I’m not a proud person because their just accomplishments and if it wase’nt you who did it then someone else would have.

    All you can really do to help me is keep things interesting, be open to odd ideas, and maybe repeat instructions because I have a tendency to tune out now and then. Question’s for you, do you run the school newspaper?

                      Sign your student for two six weeks,
                                                           James

I read over this self-summary now and think back to this time in my life and there are a few things I must address.

“I like to be treated fairly” ... WELL NO SHIT, WHO DOESN’T!

“Group work is something I avoid so im not stuck doing all the work. Writings great but sometimes there are points where you cant explain what you want too.” … HEY 16 YEAR OLD JAMES, STOP BEING A FUCKING DOORMAT AND MAKE OTHERS DO THEIR SHARE OF THE DAMN WORK, ALSO, LEARN TO WRITE YOU TWIT, MAYBE THEN YOU CAN “EXPLAIN WHAT YOU WANT!”

“I’m a fairly well writer if its fiction” … I WAS OBVIOUSLY STEVIE WONDER WHEN IT CAME TO RECOGNIZING MY SKILLS…BLIND!

“; non-fiction is to solid for me to write, it has form and facts and fiction is what you make it.” …WHY DID I TRY TO USE A SEMICOLON? Although not to toot my own horn this is the guy who wrote his completely factual final essay in 4 hours while stoned out of his mind for his Interpersonal Communication class in college and made a 97 on it.

 My weakest skills in English is spelling and keeping my vocabulary use simple, both I would like improve on.” …THE MOST ADVANCED WORD IN THIS ENTIRE ESSAY WAS “VOCABULARY” AND “ACCOMPLISHMENTS!” ONE CAN ALSO SEE THAT I WAS HORRIBLE AT USING PUNCTUATION!

“Thinking of previous English classes I realise I only did bad when I did’nt respect the teacher, I felt that way towards Mrs.Sneed.” … INSULTING OTHER TEACHERS, WAY TO GO DICK!

“I’d rather not be judged by my ideas or outlooks because their so odd.” … IDIOT, FUCKING IDIOT!

“I’m not a proud person because their just accomplishments and if it wase’nt you who did it then someone else would have.” …LOOK AT THE SELF-CONFIDENCE JUST POURING OUT OF THIS DUMBASS, WHY NOT BE THE PERSON WHO ACCOMPLISHED THE GOAL, YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE PROUD!

“All you can really do to help me is keep things interesting, be open to odd ideas, and maybe repeat instructions because I have a tendency to tune out now and then.” … I’M FAIRLY CERTAIN SHE HELPED ME MUCH MORE THAN I EVER STOPPED TO REALIZE.

    This brings me to my points, One, never be afraid to laugh at yourself, and two, there was no reason for this instructor to offer me a position in the school paper later on and granted I was eventually kicked out but that was for different reasons that I brought upon myself. I do remember that the last article I wrote for the paper was highly scrutinized and I was continuously questioned on the fact that I wrote it because it was so different from what I had been turning in. I never considered why I was interrogated so much about it until I found this and realized just how much my style of writing developed in that short time. I look back at this now and reflect on just how much of a dumb ass know-it-all I thought I was and laugh, but I also have drawn a great conclusion from it. There is no one in this world who is perfect, no one who cannot find something they can improve on, and if we can spare some patience on those people and help them see what it is we see in them, they maybe, just maybe they will develop into someone they are supposed to be.

 

 

Mementos & Memories

    Memories are a great thing. They have the ability to warm our hearts or make us cold with fear. Majority of us don’t need mementos to hold on to those memories and yet we will cherish things for a lifetime because of what it makes us feel. I have 4 items in my house that I have held on to since I was a bright eyes piss ant spending half days at school. Allow me to clarify, that would have been when I was 5. 

   

    The first is a brown teddy bear that my mom tells me she found at a garage sale. I honestly don’t know what age I received him at but I remember this picture of tiny me holding him and having a hat on his head. He was my buddy growing up! I wouldn’t consider him my safety item growing up because I didn’t take him everywhere but I remember always cherishing him. Now, he sits in my closet waiting for the day that I can give him to my kid in hopes that he can be their buddy too.

    The second is my Elmo. Growing up I slept with him by my side every night. I loved it because my mom would come in at night and hold him in front of me and do the Elmo voice. She would move his head around and say things like, “Elmo says that James needs to go to sleep because he has school tomorrow and if he doesn’t sleep we will be in big trouble!” That damn shtick would crack me up every time.

    I remember when I was in my teens a few of my friends found Elmo and monster-napped him. One of them took Elmo back to her place (bow chicka bow wow) and tied him up from the ceiling. I remember having to walk to her place and steal him back. Maybe she let me steal him back and the mission just seems grander in my mind like an Oceans 11 heist.

    I hold on to Elmo in hopes of sharing the voice with my kids one day. I hope that when they want an Elmo I will not have to go buy the $80.00 scream and hump robot dancing Elmo but instead can show them the original I grew up with.

    I also have a patchwork quilt that I slept with every night from when I was 5 all the way through High school. It wasn’t my baby blanket or anything; it was just my favorite cover. My cat use to always come lay on me when I slept with it and nurse on the loose strings that came off of the cover. Today, it sits in my closet more worn out than a Civil War Flag. I don’t plan on passing it on, there isn’t much of it left to pass on, I just haven’t been able to toss it out.

   

    Lastly, is my Power Rangers Dragon Zord. That’s right MoFo’s I still own the original Dragon Zord! It was my favorite toy as a kid! I loved the color green growing up and the dragon was way cooler than that clumsy ass Samurai thing we called the “Mega Zord.” I owned the not so Mega Zord, and the White Tiger Zord but eventually gave those 2 away. I never understood why I held on to the Dragon Zord until my interpersonal communication professor in college asked me to write a letter about my favorite toy growing up. I wish I still had the letter because ti helped me learn a great deal about myself when I was going through a hard time. The letter helped me realize that I identified the color green with courage and the Green Ranger as a leader. I held on to the toy as a symbol to remind myself that I am a leader and it would always reinforce the qualities a great leader should embody. I still have that Zord on my shelf and every so often when things get tough or I doubt myself I look at that Dragon and remind myself who it is I need to be.

    Now, once again this all seems like empty rambling with no sense of inspiration, but bear with me…these mementos are all symbols. They all remind me of great experiences in life and allow me to reflect on the moments that brought me here and made me the person I am today. I want to urge everyone to take a moment and reflect on some of your greatest treasures, on items that mean nothing to anyone but you, and feel the emotions they bring to you. I invite everyone to write about their favorite toy and discover why it was so important to them while growing up. I would love to hear other peoples stories but only if you want to share those feelings and thoughts, sometimes they can be more than we are prepared to handle.