Why Ashley Madison is Ruining Your Life.

    You can’t escape it, and be honest a part of you probably doesn’t want to escape you. You may have even come across this because you were planning to dive deeper into it. Ashley Madison is everywhere right now and everyone wants to know the dirty little secret their not in on. Is your better half not any better, is your religious figure head seeking a side of sin, or maybe your local newsman is making their own headlines.

    I have news for you, we have all fallen victim to the Ashley Madison hack, yes, all of us! Your kids have also fallen victim to it and even our elders! I don’t mean that everyone has signed up for Ashley Madison and been found lusting for some strange, what I mean is it is affecting all of our lives. It is on every radio and news outlet across the U.S and it is tearing apart good and wholesome families like the Duggars! I’m sorry you can’t see the smart-ass grin on my face when I type that but just imagine that it is there.

    First, let us all understand something, depending on which site you use to check your e-mail addresses will depend on if you were “compromised” or not. I would highly suggest you avoid Trustify.info because it is hoping to sell you a service that will hide your leaked information but it will contact every e-mail address you plug in and of the four addresses of mine I could remember using since the Internet came out all four were “compromised.” Let me clarify, I wouldn’t doubt that hormonal driven 13 year old me would have signed up for something like this even though I had no credit card, but I am also certain Ashley Madison did not exist when I was 13.

    That being said, when I used the site: 

https://ashley.cynic.al/

    None of those 4 e-mail addresses were found and there were no e-mails coming to me to report that they had been tested along with no products to buy. Allow me to summarize this point, since people love their privacy so much someone has decided to take advantage of this hack and use it as a business opportunity to scare all of the sheeple into spending money. This is how most of us have been affected by this Hack.

    Second, your poor children and elders are now confused as to why the middle generation is running around in fear of some lady named Ashley Madison. The children now equate her to being the Boogie-man’s wife and the elders assume she is running for president on a democratic stance that will turn American into a communist nation. In all seriousness, children are not dumb and they are going to ask you what Ashley Madison is so be ready to lie and just tell them it’s daddy or mommy’s work friend. The elders are going to lecture you all about how in their day they didn’t need a website to cheat; they just waited till the other one went to war. Either way we are all stuck listening to the stupid repeated news coverage of this stupid story.

    The best part of all of this though is how many people are so surprised and shocked by it. People are upside down about the idea that 40 million people have signed up for this site and had their information shared. Out of the United States 321,569,738…9…740 shit it will not stop going up and I know one of those people who were just born… ok sorry back on point, of the U.S’s  population that is roughly 8% of the population who signed up for this site. Keep in mind, that doesn’t consider people who are under-age or not online. 8% big deal, the real problem is that people are so afraid to admit who they really are in fear of being judged

.

    We all have our kinks, our perversions, and our twist of lemon in our tea. People are freaking out because they don’t want to be labeled a cheater or sinner or a kink. We are all so focused on putting on this mask that makes us look clean that we forget that we all have stains on our clothes and if anyone wants to judge you on the fact that you accept how you want to enjoy your life then they are probably guilty of something the same or possibly just as “dirty.” I’m not saying we accept every perversion, I’m not condoning things that guys like Dahmer, Bundy, or Fogle do; there are lines, but what does it matter that someone is trying to extort you for money because you cheated, you knew your marriage was shit, you had all right to seek outside help in any form, and you should own the choice you made. Then again, maybe you’re mad because someone took away your decision to fess up or not.

    P.S. the views and ideas expressed in this article are simply comedic satire based off one man’s opinion who could give two shits how you live your life as long as you understand you have no room to judge anyone else you dirty dirty piece of shit.

    P.P.S really, we shouldn’t judge each other anyway, all that does it create un-needed hatred. 

Poetry I wrote

Nick & Sam's: A Dallas Steak House

    After a long time I finally scrounged around for some money in all of the couch cushions and car cup holders and decided to grab a bite at a restaurant I had never tried. The lucky winner was Nick & Sam’s off of Maple Avenue in Dallas. I was meeting friends there for a small celebration of potential life but that does not apply to this review.

    Nick & Sam’s is your typical Uptown restaurant, its hip, its modern, it pays homage to the classics, and it requires you to valet park. Congratulations and thank you to the Nick & Sam’s valet team, it is not often you get to drive a 2007 Honda Civic with a missing wheel cover and 3 inches of dirt on it but you did well and took great care of her! Upon entering Nick & Sam’s I was quickly confused by the sight, to my left there appeared to be a cocktail area but it was hard to tell with everyone standing in masses with glasses in their hands. I quickly confirmed that it was a wine bar and behind that where I met my party was the bar and what must have been the cocktail area.

    We stood there between the two rooms trapped in what Limbo must be like; to our left was a dark but cool colored room that was overly crowded but very active, much like I imagine hell. Left of us, was a warm and open waiting area with community tables that were basically standing room only and wine selections covering the walls. I imagine this is what it would be like to get into heaven, waiting for Saint Peter to call your name while you admire the offerings but cannot touch. Also there were busty women in cocktail dresses moving back and forth between the rooms but let’s be honest, both heaven and hell will have its fair share of breasts.

    After a twenty minute wait we were lead back into another dining room, one that was very large with lovely arched ceilings and beautiful crisp lighting. It looked into the kitchen where all of the magic happens and I must say this truly did give one the feeling of heaven on earth, but much like any euphoric feeling of bliss it quickly passed as I flew to close to the sun and landed in the back dining room that resembled a modern take on a New York steak house; Warm woods, its own private bar and plenty of interesting art on the walls. I should mention this; all of the art in Nick & Sam’s is created by independent artists and if I remember correctly, for sale. This room reminded me of everything I ever wanted in my own bar back when I was bright eyed, bushy tailed, and 21.

    Behind us was the entrance to another private dining room with a long community table that was styled very much like our own. After settling in our server came to the table, I am uncertain what his name is now but he could very well be the son of Thomas F. Wilson, you know, Biff from Back to the Future, but only more lanky. He greeted us and gave us the typical script that every 5 star restaurant gives you, especially when they are about to impregnate you with their food child for the first time.

    Okay enough about the décor and atmosphere, let’s talk about the food. They started us off with a complimentary plate of caviar with onions, chives, some whipped egg whites, and some other stuff on the side. I personally had never tried caviar because I missed that day in culinary school and was easily convinced that now was the time because it is not often that someone lays down a plate of fish roe in front of you for free. I waited for two of my companions to try it first, the one to my left swallowed and stated that caviar has been over hyped and he was not impressed. His younger brother to my right explained how he was in fact, wrong, and that it was very delicious. I scooped a bit onto a toast point and tossed it back in order to be tie settler and was very surprised, I mean who pays that kind of money to eat what taste like dirt from the bottom of a lake? There is nothing appetizing or appealing to caviar, it is simply a status symbol of food and a waste of time and chewing muscles! From there, I opened the menu to decide what to have and was quickly lost in the wine list, not because it was first in the menu but because I had managed to miss the food entirely and end up in the cabernets. While scanning the wine list I noticed that they did not offer a 2015 Franzia or Barefoot cabernet from Sonoma County so I decided to settle for a Zinfandel but still could not manage to find one I was familiar with. We decided to settle for something else.

   

    Moving on, my three companions ordered salads while I had a Jim Beam and Coke along with a glass of Malbec that had come from the bottle we ordered for the table. I must say that Las Perdices 2013 Malbec is really opened up in flavor when paired with Jim Beam; it releases the earthy tones more and makes it a much smoother taste than the Malbec normally has. The salads came out and I was taken aback, for the cost I would expect to not have to cut my own Caesar salad! I will admit that the mozzarella and beefsteak tomatoes with basil, or as most would call it Caprese salad, did come out looking like art on a plate. It was vibrant and had depth and looked very appetizing. 

    After or salads, and alcohol, Biff returned to the table to explain the steak cuts to us using a large ceramic tray displaying each cut in its raw form.  The tomahawk cut looked amazing but how would I manage to get that bone home for my canine companion without wrapping it up in a napkin and sticking it in my back pocket. I decided to go with an off menu cut that Biff said was a Kentucky style although it tasted much more like Kansas to me. The cut was thick and had a great marbling of fat on the edges which is something you like to see when you are spending more on one meal than you do on a week of groceries. When the steak came out I was hungry and very happy to fill my stomach with what had to be five times the daily suggested amount of protein but I will say this, when you are cooking a steak that thick it requires so much work to get the internal temperature high enough to make it safe that you have to obliterate the outside and that is exactly what happened. The exterior tasted more like crispy ash than it did steak and although the inside made up for that by being pink and juicy it makes me question why high end places choose to cut so thick and fail to season. I would have happily devoured a steak half the thickness with a more even cook and plenty of flavors for a fraction of the price less but this wasn’t Outback.

    The sides were phenomenal, the sautéed broccoli was perfectly cooked, the garlic mashed potatoes were smooth and creamy, although lacking in garlic, the mac was warm and flavorful, but the “Damn Good” fries are being over sold. I will say it again, do not trust the “Damn Good” part of the fries because they are simply fries, warm and crispy, made in house, fries. There is nothing that makes them great let alone damn good, the proper name should be mediocre fries or maybe even, “Just Fries.”

    After splitting the check three ways and tipping, you should always tip, we made our way out when a flashing puff of cotton candy caught my eye. I don’t even want to know why they serve edible storm clouds but the idea seems cool. My party stepped out of the doors and waited for out vehicles and I quickly thought to myself just how nice the night was even though it was outside of my standard price range and it’s steaks and sides could easily be replicated at home for a fraction of the price. I reminded myself that we don’t go out just for the food, but for the memories and experience and that Nick & Sam’s was just that, a place to have an experience and make some memories. As my car pulled up I was also reminded of the ten I found in the couch cushion and handed it to the valet before hopping back into my filthy Civic and driving off down Maple Avenue with my axel screeching and an empty pocket reminding me that it would probably be another year before Yelp ever saw another review from me…

    To summarize, Nick & Sam’s is a modern take on the old school New York steak house with the typical high prices you pay when going out to experience the atmosphere and satiate your appetite. I would suggest going if you can afford such places and/or are celebrating a big occasion like an engagement. If you think that Red Lobster is fancy then this is not the place for you, but don’t let that deter you from trying it. I would give Nick and Sam’s an overall 4 stars because it is an interesting place that caters to the upper class of the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex. 

Shopping: A Poem

James Thornquist

8-11-15

7:14am

If we are all so into window shopping then maybe that explains the exchange policy.

Put me in the back on the clearance wrack because I’m tattered, torn and full of holes.

Festivities!

I think Mexicans know how to celebrate a holiday better than any other nationality. This isn’t racist if anything it is a compliment and if you are one of those, “Learn English this is A’merica” types then I feel pity for you for not having a close Mexican friend to invite you to holidays. Mexicans always have plenty of food and everyone seems happy just to be there. When you walk in someone instantly proclaims who you are and lays ownership to you in some way like you are one of their own. At least once in the night someone will quietly offer you something in a very hesitant manner as if they are afraid to offend you and worry that you are not cool enough to hang. Fuck yea, let’s take some tequila shots and pound a few beers, I’m game! They don’t even have to have presents and somehow they are happy.

I’ve never really been to a black household holiday but I imagine it has great food but a lot of drama; then again maybe that is what Hollywood has led me to believe. I always got the feeling that white friends weren’t invited to Christmas or Kwanzaa at the Jones house-hold. White holidays are boring compared to both. It’s a bunch of women hugging you and asking how you have been and a bunch of men shaking your hand and saying your name. Everyone is catching up and waiting for the big moment of presents and food so they can get back home and go back to sleep after being deprived of it due to the simple fact that we lie to our children about fat home invaders coming in to leave toys and eat cookies.

I will say this though; Mexican families are very odd about a girl turning fifteen. You dress her up like a princess and everyone dances and drinks because she is now a woman…or is that a bar mitzvah? Either way it only leads me to believe that you spent time and money on this big fairy tale like celebration as a way to say she is ready to pop out kids and that it is all down-hill from here. Don’t get offended I’m just letting you know what the implication is since no one takes the time to translate the history of it all for us ignorant Gringos.

I really couldn’t address other races holiday traditions because I’ve never had an Italian friend or been invited to Chinese New Year, and don’t think this whole thing is just some way to race-bait you into arguing because I took a fair amount of time addressing and insulting each race appropriately in this little write up. I enjoy Mexican holiday celebrations, there are few other celebration types I enjoy other than maybe the red neck holiday but then again they are rather similar: food, family, alcohol, and doing something stupid! 

P.S.- I want to thank everyone who has been reading and enjoying my work. Wasted Youth has hit 1000 page views which really seems numerous when I think back to how this all started in February or something like that. I would still love to hear more feedback from you, the reader, but I won't beg. I hope you continue to enjoy my odd, cynical, and mostly skewed views on things and would love suggestions for topics or ideas of what else you would like to see. Keep in mind I have done some fiction writing and try to dabble with new things constantly. Thank you again all who have read! 

12 Exercises To Get You Sexy!

 With all of the drinking and fast food in our lives it seems hard to keep off the pounds. It seems more important than ever to be in shape in what seems to be a very vanity driven world, thank you Hollywood. I know some of us are getting gym memberships or have had them and have fought with that dedication and drive to want to really work at it. I get it guys, pain is guaranteed but the torment is a choice and honestly this trunky fuck often chooses comfort over the pain and torment. It is ten times easier to watch Netflix and eat snacks all day but what kind of life is that? One I want to get away from, so I want to tell you guys about…

The 12 Exercises You Needed To Get Sexy!

Pushups

We all know how to do a pushup, maybe not the right way but the general idea. This is a very basic workout that you can adapt into new ways. Pushups help define all of your bodies’ muscles and improve posture while increasing testosterone levels.

Planks

Plant your hands under your shoulders, or slightly wider apart, tighten your body, tuck your chin, and just hold it. Another very adaptable exercise; there are side planks, low planks, even wood planks. Doing planks helps build deep inner core muscle and helps create a toned belly.

Glute Bridge

This one is new to me, lie on your back and separate your legs shoulder width apart. Point your knees toward the ceiling and lift your torso up while contracting your abs. You are basically air humping at the ceiling. Glute Bridges help with core stabilization and firms the glutes.

Spider Lunges

Another new one also known as Spiderman Lunges, first, you get into a position that looks like you are at the top of a pushup. Then step forward with one leg and bring it next to the exterior of your elbow then step back. Repeat the process for each leg. Spider Lunges work most of the major back muscles and the muscles used for a pushup.

Plank Taps

These are just like the plank where you hold yourself up like a pushup but alternate lifting one arm and touching the opposite shoulder. This is really just an added hardship to planks.

Squats

We all know how to do squats right, keep your back straight and drop down while bending at the knees then come back up. Squats work out the entire body and burn more fat, and ladies they make the ass look great!

Side Lunges

Hold your chest straight and lunge to the left or right while keeping one foot planted. It looks similar to a football player trying to break away from a defender. Side Lunges help build lower body mass and define the butt as well.

Squat Jumps

Just like doing a squat but you come up and do a jump into the air. The Squat Jump works all of the same muscles as a squat and then some and the deeper the drop the more calories you burn.

Jumping Lunge

Step one foot out and bend it at the knee to 90 degrees while lowering on the other but don’t let it touch the ground. Push up and jump in order to switch feet and repeat the process. Jump Lunges work the hamstrings along with other lower body muscles but remember to warm up before doing this exercise or all of them.

Single-Leg Deadlift

This one looks like a yoga move. Stand up straight, tighten your core and put all of your weight on the planted leg. Raise one leg behind you while keeping the toes pointed at the ground and bending at the hips. Return to upright and repeat the process. These reps require great balance and are great for strengthening your non-dominate leg.

Reverse Lunges

Much like a lunge but instead of stepping forward you step back with one leg while bringing the other down to 90 degrees. Reverse Lunges help make you more flexible and improve endurance.

The Walkout

No, this is not where you throw your hands up and walk out of the gym, the exact opposite. Start by standing up straight, bend at the hips and place your hands on the ground. Once you have your balance start walking your hands forward until you end up in a held pushup position. Walk your hands backwards so you return to standing position and repeat the process. Walkouts work the abs, and those pesky love handles along with the legs.

Mixing any of these exercises into sets of 10 with repetitive circuits can help you burn fat, gain muscle, improve posture, and make you DAMN SEXY!

Keep in mind though that any good exercise routine requires cardio and a good diet so put some work into it! 

Wasted Technology

    I am laying here in a truck bed looking up at the moon while sipping on a whiskey and coke. I turned my Xbox on once tonight but never managed to turn the T.V. on.

    I have been stuck in this thought today about technology. How we are using it for everything now and how much it is complicating our lives. We are swiping our way through the day and letting it pass us by. I know you have all had the same thought at least once this month if not this week. I know we have all heard to use it less but somehow we continue to suckle at the tit that is the World Wide Web like it is the only way to satisfy our craving of a drug that is all around us. The Internet is the fucking tobacco of technology. It's accessible, it's fairly cheap, and both are mixed with additives to keep you hooked. One had nicotine and cyanide while the other has sexuality and cat videos.

    We meet singles through websites and apps. With a split second you can now decide if someone is below you by swiping left or right. (If you didn't catch the double entendre then go back and try it again). What happened to a fair chance of at least making a real first impression by letting someone walk up to you, say hi or drop a line, offer to buy you a drink, and get shot down decently to their face. Now we get the mystery of wondering if they will swipe right or message back.

    We self-diagnose everything we can from personality disorders to illness to spirit animal types and then we try to argue with experts. Have you tried telling your shaman that you are not a North American black tailed deer, they don't like it!" Seriously though, quit trying to tell your doctor what
Web M.D. thinks you have, they had to struggle to get to that level of their career which is why they take all of your money when you go to them. Also please consider that Web M.D has similar symptoms for every illness.

    We communicate through it. The last voice I heard on my personal phone was my dad’s and that's because he only got an iPhone a month ago and is just now learning how to text! I can't be too mad at this one though because I spend all day on the phone and the last thing I want to do when I get home is listen to someone else on the phone. Give me the details in a nice text and we are done. Talking on the phone is for politicians and newlywed couples.

    We share with it, and although sharing is caring we end up over sharing. I am the biggest over sharer I know but not online, no, in person, to people I know, and like. I will talk about almost anything in my life and yet for some reason I'm not near being the worst. I don't need to know that you are taking a grunt in the Ikea bathroom which coincidentally happens to be next to the bathroom furniture and decor section. I don't need to know that you are more outraged by Mufasa being shot than you are any human being, ever. I don't need to see the pictures of your kids first bath; those are things you share to the people closest to you and not the whole world. (Look who's being a hypocrite).

    About the only thing we don't use it for was its original intention. Long distance homework slam sessions. It was made to be a learning tool, to allow us to trade information and open our horizons. I don't know how many times a day I have to look at someone and simply say, "did you google it?” I Google things ten times a day and on a slow day probably 15 or 20; I constantly have questions and want answers. What is wrong with people that they now walk up and ask, "Where’s Starbucks?" Oh I don’t know I think there is 15 in a 4 mile radius but if you want an exact one why not GOOGLE IT!

It’s not a bad thing to have to exercise your mind a bit by writing and reading even if it is 5 words and a paragraph.

    Allow me to summarize my cynical rant; people are wasting this great tool in order to give themselves a quick burst of satisfaction, to release their endorphin's, to get their rocks off. We are growing lazy and bored and instead of struggling for a real high we are like rats in a cage pushing the button for our fix. Step back for a moment, open a book, pick up a pen, build something or go out and have a conversation. Any of it is more exciting than wasting your life lost in the small screen and stalking through Facebook, but then again maybe I'm just being the ass and someone should let me know.   

Words NOT About Death: Husks

When the sun hangs high there is a place I go to lie

on a plank in the shade under the trash tree.

Sleeping with the husks and among the breeze

No one cries or looks to the sky

I am only there between ten and three.

Standing

James Thornquist
8:02 p.m
7-24-2015


Standing

Sitting

This house

All of it stands around me

But,none is mine

The lights off, sitting

Sitting behind the drawn curtains

The air stale; urine.

The gnats festering

Solutions possible

But, not probable.

Why bother when it is all stands

Here, around me

Standing,

But still falling

The sound of the keyboard

Bland

No click

Un-inspiring

8:00 o’clock

And the day is behind me

Ten Drinking Games You Need To Play!

Today I thought we should live up to the name, Wasted Youth, and explain how so many of you are wasting your time and energy by playing…Beer Pong. I love it as much as the next guy but it is time to wake up and smell the fresh vomit stains! There are so many other great drinking games you could be playing and I am here to share the basics of ten great drinking games you should be playing but probably never have!

Buffalo or Water Buffalo- All you need is a drink and people to play with. The rules are simple:
-you cannot hold a drink in your dominate hand. 
-You cannot drink using your dominate hand, and if anyone calls you on it by saying, “Buffalo” then you must finish the drink you are holding right then and there.
   This is a great way to get a small party talking and keeping everyone on their toes. It’s easy to play while passing the time and waiting for your turn on the pong table but also so easy to forget you are playing which is what makes it fun. Be careful though because calling Buffalo to find out someone is using their non-dominate hand results in you having to chug your entire drink.

The Game of Life- No, I do not mean the board game, who wants to sit around and play a game about the thing that is causing them to drink? The game of life although similar to Buffalo is still different. The rules are also simple, you simply have to make sure your drinking vessel, be it bottle, cup or can is damaged in some form or fashion. This keeps you safe, and if at any time someone comes up to you and says, “The Game of Life” you must show them your drink and it’s damage. If you are caught without a damaged vessel you must chug the rest of that drink and promptly grab another.

...Oh and did I forget to mention, once you opt in to play Buffalo or The Game of Life, you are playing forever.

Confidence- is a simple game that requires a few players, a large cup, and a coin of some sort. The game play is straight forward. You begin by pouring some of your drink into the cup as a wager, it can be as little or as much as you want depending on how confident you are. Then you flip the coin and call it in the air. If you are right, you pass the cup to the left (with your drink contents still in it) and the next person repeats, if you are wrong, you must drink the entire contents of the cup!

Thumper- A little more complicated, each player chooses a hand gesture whether it be simple, polite, or sexually enticing, it must be short. The game starts by everyone drumming on the table and someone says, “What’s the name of the game?” everyone must respond, “Thumper!” the leader who started it must then say, “and why do we play?” to which everyone responds, “to get Fucked up!” The leader then performs their hand gesture towards another player who quickly repeats the first gesture and adding their own. Each player must repeat the pattern and add their own until someone misses their Que or is to slow or messes up the pattern and is crowned the “violator.” That person must drink and then begins the next round.

Fuck you- If you have ever played Uno then you will understand fuck you! You deal out an entire deck of cards around the table and the first person plays a card like the 5 of hearts and says Fuck so and so, the person they declare must take five drinks from their drink or if they also have a five can play their five on top of it and declare “Fuck you” to another player passing on the original 5 plus the new five making that person take 10 drinks. At any point someone can throw their matching card on top to make the Fuck more for the drinking player or save that player and pass the new total to a new player. Everyone plays until the last card is assigned and even if you are out of cards you can still be fucked.

Dirty Jenga- Simple, all you need is a Jenga set and a sharpie marker. From there you write different punishments on each block i.e. take a shot, truth or dare, never have I ever, or pass your phone. Think of it like waterfall but with Jenga. Whoever knocks the stack over loses and has to chug the remainder of their drink. Keep in mind that at no point in this game can you have an empty drink.

Battle Shots- I’m not sure if this one needs explaining, it is battle ship but with shots. You can play two ways. The first is where you set up a normal battle ship game and every time your opponent gets a hit you take a shot. The other, which is much more complicated, is where you build your own set up and place the shot glasses on different sectors of the grid. Whenever your opponent hits one of the shots and sinks the shot you must drink it.

Beer Ball / Beer Run- This game has evolved quite quickly in its short lifespan. The original, beer ball is where you set a beer on each end of the table. From the opposite side of the table you try to throw a ball at the beer and hit it. If you hit it you then drink the beer in front of you until your opponent retrieves the ball and places it on the table. Whoever finishes their beer first wins. 
    This game can also be played in teams.

    The evolution which is known as beer run is where you set up 5 cups of beer at the opposite end of the table from the shooter. They shoot the ball and once a cup is made their teammate chugs the beer and has to proceed to flip the cup from its base onto its open mouth before swapping ends with their partner and repeating the process. Whichever team finishes their 5 beers first is the winner. A simple mixture of flip cup and beer pong.

Liars Dice- This one requires a few materials in order to play but is a great game for drinking or gambling. You will need a non-transparent cup for each player and 5 dice. 
    All players shake their dice in their cup (much like Yahtzee) and slam the cup down covering their dice. The player going first looks at their dice and proclaims how many times a selected number occurs on the table. An example of this would be two 3's. The next player then can proclaim there are more of the same number or more of a higher number. If they think the previous player is lying they can call the players bluff and if they think the player is spot on they can also call "spot on." 
    Once a call is made all dice on the table are revealed.
    If you call a bluff and it is correct then the lying player looses the round, takes a drink, and looses a dice. 
    If you call a bluff and it is wrong then you loose the round, take a drink, and loose a dice.
    If you call spot on and are correct then every player except you looses a dice and takes a drink. If you are wrong then you loose a dice and take a drink. 
    the game continues until only one player has dice left. 

True America- The most complex but also exciting game on the list. Imagine the floor is lava meets candy land meets alcoholism.  First you build the castle in the center of the room by placing a bottle of liquor first which is the king. Radiating outward is a 4 rows of beers that are the pawns.

The goal is to traverse the playing spots in the room without touching the floor which means that playing spots are chairs, cushions, tables, etc.

 The game persists of 4 zones created by the angles of the pawns and in those 4 zones are 5 spots to stand.  The center standing spot is the closest to the castle and the only position in which you can take a pawn. 

The goal of the game is to be the first player to land on a center space, have all of the pawns removed and drink from the king. You lose if you touch the lava, do not have a drink or are holding an empty drink. You can come back into the game by drinking a beer and starting at a spot that the other players choose for you.

The game begins by each player shot gunning a beer, the first one done goes first. The winner then yells, “ 1 2 3 JFk” to which all other players respond FDR, grab a pawn and run to a spot. Everyone moves around the field clockwise. Whoever it’s turn is moves 1 space and then provides a chance for everyone else to win a move with 1 of 3 games.

The Count: All players yell 1,2,3 and throw a number of fingers between 1-5 on their fore head, whoever has chosen a number than no one else has chosen gets to move one space.

Complete the Quote: The player begins a quote slowly from history or pop culture and whichever players can complete the quote in tandem win and can move 2 spots.

Something in Common: The player can list two places, people, or things and whoever can declare what these things have in common wins and moves 3 spots.

By laws of True America:

 Everything you hear in true America…is a Lie

When someone finishes a beer they yell, “All trash belongs…” and everyone must respond with, “In the Junk yard!” at which point empty cans are thrown to the designated receptacle.

At any point a player may yell “JFK” and everyone must respond with “FDR” and finish their beer.

The American Dream

    Today I want to talk about the American Dream and I don’t mean Dusty Roads that was last week. I want to talk about the idea that we are all “Guaranteed” greatness and fortune here in America. I want to tell you all about how The American Dream is dead and how it is a lie we have all been force fed by bureaucrats who simply want to make promises they cannot keep in order to win our votes. 

    I want to tear apart this idea and explain to you all how dreams ARE NOT REAL, that they are simply illusions of our subconscious that form in our mind while we sleep. I want to urge you to stop pursuing these empty dreams and instead to embrace that this land is the land of opportunity and that it will present many opportunities to you if you truly work for them.

    That’s what I wanted to say, and then I did some research and found this…

   

 That was it, I have no leg to stand on now, and my anger has to cause to be anymore and all by a simple definition. I realize now that it hasn’t been the American bureaucrats lying to any of us; it is our own ignorance on the topic. We have developed an entitled mentality and that has caused us all to use this idea to back up our arguments when we lack the true idea of it.

   

The American Dream is achieved because we live in a land of opportunity. We all have the ability and right to better ourselves, to rise through the ranks, and to strive for more. This was something our elders understood and worked towards. This is something they made sacrifices for in times of need and it is a lesson we as a younger generation need to learn ourselves. The only thing standing in our way is our self. 

Being True to Yourself

    Growing up I had a friend who I truly would call my best friend, not that I only had 1 best friend, but this friend was the one who influenced me the most. The best way to summarize the relationship we had is to look at it in pirate terms. If I were the captain of my rag tag group then he was the first mate. A fairly egotistical metaphor I know but also honest. Why was I the captain and he the first mate, because among the group of rag tag scoundrels I led he was the only one who would not be led, he was the one I went to for my peace of mind and he was the one who always knew where he stood. He and I together were Duality.

    Allow me to explain, growing up I constantly sought out acceptance from others and aimed to fit in by blending in, I was a chameleon, always changing my style and thoughts and trying to be something I was not in order to be cool or even liked. My counterpart, who I will refer to as Doll Face, enjoyed seclusion from others, he stuck to his own views and his own style, never changing who he was even when people tried and tried to crack that porcelain shell.

    My way led me to a life of constant identity questioning and changing, never truly being happy and never truly fitting in anywhere. It made me always see the grass as being greener instead of working to grow my own. His way caused people to flock to him, to want to be associated with him and even made people question what it was that they were even though that was never his goal. Doll Face never wavered to who he was even in temptation and that made him cool to others, it made him that strong quiet type. It made him type that the girls wanted to figure out the mystery behind and the guys wanted to be seen as that mystery. I became known as a loud and outspoken odd ball with brightly colored braces that scared girls away and made the guys want to hit him which is why Doll Face ironically started to call me Stitch Mouth.

    I spent so much time trying to be cool, trying to be funny, trying to be dark, mysterious, trying to be accepted that I never stopped and tried to be myself. Not until 12 years later after I had come to terms that I never took time to meet myself, to stare myself in the eyes, and get to know who I truly was. I didn’t meet myself until I was 26 and had the world fall apart around me, or at least what I thought was the world. That is when I realized that my best me, the me that would have been cool, the me that could have known everyone and done everything is the me who doesn’t care about how he is seen or who he impresses, it is the me that lives life for himself and understands in his own thoughts, his own beliefs and his own ideas. Me that is open to accepting other people’s views and ideas and enjoys every part of life that comes at him.

    I aim to leave every reader with a uplifting thought here at the conclusion, something to inspire them to do more and be more, to achieve their own greatness and today is no different. Today, I ask all of you to stop living to blend in, but instead to stand out. Stop chasing the crowd, but to turn and lead it. Stop being told what to believe and instead believe what is right for you. I ask that you take some time to get to know who you really are before you are simply another face among the mass that goes through the motions of day to day life. 

    Money, the root of all evil, the fuel that makes the world turn! None of us have enough and yet some of us have too much.  Big-E use to say, “Mo Money, Mo problems.” I would much rather have Big-E’s problems than my own…besides the being shot and killed thing. They say that money doesn’t buy you happiness but if that is the case, then why do people with money appear happier than those of us with little to no money.

    I often find myself looking for money in hopes of buying a happier lifestyle and every time I do, I end up unhappier than I ever was. There is a trap we don’t see when we chase money, a trap we cannot escape from and that trap is called the Rat Race. The more money we want, the harder we work, and the harder we work the more money we end up paying back to the hand that feeds us.  It took me years to figure out this trap and sadly I still fall victim to it more often than I should. We have grown up in this living marketplace culture where everything has a price and everyone believes they are guaranteed a piece of the pie. Allow me to be the bearer of bad news and tell you, not everyone gets a piece. No one is guaranteed greatness, no one is promised riches, and none of us handed gold. We all sow what we reap, but not all of us will reap what we sow.

    There is a solution though, something that I constantly have to be reminded myself. Money is fleeting. Possessions deteriorate, and valuables lost, but happiness, peace, and greatness, they all come from within, and they are what will truly make you rich in this world. With those three things you can truly achieve anything you want, you can overcome everything you face, and be the person you were meant to be. It is time that we stop trying to chase money, and instead chase our dreams. It is time we stop living to be someone else, but live to be ourselves! 

Voicing my Voice: 20 Things to Master

    

    After traveling Rome and Athens for a week, being delayed in New York, jumping over to Minnesota, making it home, and enjoying some down time (yes, downtime after a vacation) I have realized something rather major…

 I HAVE WRITERS BLOCK!

    Everything I have touched the pen to lately has become scribbles, rants, or trash. I expected to come home with a detailed review of Rome, another of Athens, and at least one humor or pop culture piece to share in the blog, not to mention the work I wanted to put into a book idea I have, and instead came home with nothing. I have been so fixated on responsibility and stress that I have failed to do what I originally set out to do with this blog and that was promote positivity and enjoy life to the fullest. I understand that not every day will be a great day but lately it feels like I have just given in to the bad ones and forgot to just blow off the bullshit and focus on the good.

    I do a great deal of self-reflecting, so  much in fact that some have suggested to me that I possibly “think too much instead of living” and they are most likely correct, but then again maybe that is a habit developed from my environment. My parents were always cautious and planned people and that taught me to always calculate the risk but when you calculate risk it takes away from anything you may experience not to mention it gives you a slightly more negative outlook on things.

    With that all said, I still have nothing to truly write about so I decided to google ideas and came across list titled “20 things everyone should master by age 40” and it is from Oprah.com …. Seriously fucking Oprah… someone I hold to trust or faith in… oh well I have gone too far to turn back now, he says looking back 59 words. Anyways I figure I can at least run through these to self-evaluate and possibly state my opinion about each or some.

    #1 is “How to Delegate.”

    Well fuck that, few people ever learn how to delegate and it is not required of most of us because we are followers or peons, paid to sit still and do as we are told. Next!

     #2 “How to Comfort Someone.”

Okay, this one makes sense; we should all take the time to learn how to comfort someone even if it’s just the people close to us. It is helpful to others when you show interest in their burden, and honestly that is all most of us are looking for, someone to listen.

    #3 is “How to Have More Fun Having Sex.”

Ladies, and that is the target demographic this list is aiming for, I am sorry that we have let you down. Oprah is not someone I would be going to for sex advice but then again none of these points are even written by Oprah, I.E.:

Sex researchers have found that one of the biggest turn-ons for women is feeling desired. So believing that you're desirable is key. Choose a part of your body you admire. It might be your eyes, your hari, the curve of your calves. Now focus on that part in your mind and "see" it as your partner would see it. It may feel silly, but imagine he's thinking, "Wow, I want her so bad." And remember: You don't have to wait until you're in the mood. Sometimes you just need to get started and the mood will follow.

—Gail Saltz, MD, author of The Ripple Effect: How Better Sex Can Lead to a Better Life

I personally want to express to both genders that feeling desired is a turn on for everyone. Guys, take some time to show her you care and want her, Ladies, don’t be afraid to make the first move now and then.

    #4 is (why I chose to even write about this list) “How to Spot a Good Opportunity.”

This is something I have very poor experience in. It is not often that opportunity gets slung at my door like a newspaper on Sunday morning. Honestly, I think the idea of opportunity coming to you has died off due to my generation and those to follow, generation Y and Z. I like the advice given on this one so I will quote it here:

“When you're weighing an opportunity, make the question that simple: “"Do I really want this, or am I doing it for the money or the prestige or because I think I should?"” It can't just be about those things. It has to make you feel good, too. And by the way, if opportunities aren't knocking, you can make your own.”

—Christina Wayne former senior VP at AMC, current president of Cineflix Studios, and an executive producer of the new BBC America series Copper

I think that may be one of the biggest things I struggle with in life, the idea that I am doing something because I was told all my life it is the right way to do something, it is the standard way to do things, and not because I actually enjoy doing it or have any passion to do it.

    #5, “How to make conversations at parties”

 Simple, read something like this and then ask someone their views on any of these topics and how they go about fulfilling these ideas in their life. My personal favorite, ask people how they make conversation at parties when you are at a party. I guarantee you everyone will think it is a joke and just go with it.

    #6, “How to End a Friendship”

Click

FB: “Would you like to unfriend this person?”

You: “Yes”

    #7, “How to Stay in Touch”

Click “Add Friend”

“Friend Request Approved, You and Fuck Face are now Friends!”

    #8 is, “How to Not Sweat the Small Stuff.”

If anyone had an answer to this that wasn’t , “Anti-anxiety pills” then they must have it all figured out and should be lifted high into the air on a throne of gold as wine was poured into their mouth from a chalice by beautiful servants of their sexual preference. What’s that, there is an answer… Well then let’s see it!

“The thing that's grand about spending your time thinking about the universe is that it makes you feel insignificant. I don't mean that in a bad way. If you understand that we've now discovered entire solar systems that contain planets similar to Earth, and that those are just the ones we know about, since most of the stars we've looked at are within about 300 light-years of Earth and the distance to the center of our galaxy is nearly 100 times that—then you realize that the laundry you've left undone and the dumb thing you said yesterday are about as significant as slime mold.”

—Alyssa Goodman, professor of astronomy, Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics

That was your advice…that… you know what, no throne or wine or beautiful servants for you! Yea that really helps people out, tell them how insignificant they are whenever they worry about the small stuff, I’m sure that worked great for communist Russia which is why they are the world power right now. Don’t worry about your purpose in all of this Little Nikolie, you are insignificant in the grand scheme of things!

    #9, “How Not to Embarrass Yourself at Karaoke.”

I am going to take a moment here while you think about this question and it following #8, go ahead, and take your time…

…

…

…

Seriously, I’ll wait…

…

…

…

Anyways, simple solution, don’t sing Karaoke.

    #10 is, “How to Make New Friends-at ANY AGE.”

Please refer to #7

    #11 is, “How to Forgive Yourself.”

You have to find a way forward. You can say, "I'm going to work to improve myself so I never hurt another person that way." And then you need to atone, to make the lesson you learned mean something. Do this, and you will be able to look in the mirror again.

—Jennifer Thompson, rape victim whose testimony sent the wrong man to prison for ten years

Yes, Jennifer has the right idea, you have to find a way to make yourself feel better after you wrongfully accuse someone and lock them away in federal prison where they will live every day worrying who is going to shank them from the front and back (HEYO!) Jokes aside, I’m not trying to lessen what she went through, rape is a horrible act to commit towards anyone and I feel for people who have TRUELY experienced that in life.

Forgiveness is hard, honestly I think it may be easier for one to forgive themselves than it is to forgive others so personally I think #11 should just be “How to Forgive” and address the idea of forgiving others and yourself. It takes a great deal of strength to forgive someone who has hurt you. I would consider myself a very forgiving person and that is not based off of my own ego but more so from people being surprised by my actions and explaining to me how their first instinct would not have been the same thing. We should all work on forgiveness, and to be honest it starts by truly trying to see the world from the other parties’ perspective and reflecting on what you did to upset them.

    #12, “How to Tell a Secret.”

Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.

    #13, “Simple Ways to Look Polished.”

I feel like we somehow just jumped into a damn Cosmo article because it literally is a basics style guide for women that I will not share because it could have been written co-gender very easily but Adam Glassman, creative director for O obviously has no friends at GQ or Esquire or else he would have realized they write the same bullshit for men’s basic fashion too!

    #14 is, “How to Let Go of Anger.”

Anger is like a storm rising up from the bottom of your consciousness. When you feel it coming, turn your focus to your breath. Breathe in deeply to bring your mind home to your body. Then look at, or think of, the person triggering this emotion: With mindfulness, you can see that she is unhappy, that she is suffering. You can see her wrong perceptions. You can see that she is not beautiful when she says things that are unkind. You can also see that you don't want to be like her. You'll feel motivated by a desire to say or do something nice—to help the other person suffer less. This means compassionate energy has been born in your heart. And when compassion appears, anger is deleted.

—Thich Nhat Hanh, Buddhist monk and author of Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames

I can’t even mock this one because I feel like it is spot on, I mean sure it sounds super granola peace and love for all but at least the focus is correct, She is not happy and you better find a way to make her happy because let’s face it guys, it’s always our fault.

    #15, “How to Say Goodbye to a Loved One.”

“Okay, Bye, I know you are going to call me in 5 minutes anyways so I’m leaving mom!”

    #16 is, “How to Know when to Quit.”

I can’t make heads or tails of this one because I swear it is contradicting its self so I am just going to quote it and maybe someone else will understand it. (Keep in mind it is 11:59 p.m. as I write this part.)

After my first book was published in 2000, I spent two and a half years writing a novel. But it never felt right. I didn't even name it—it was the poor, misshapen beast child I kept hidden under my bed. Then I showed it to my agent. "None of the things you do well are in evidence here," she said. I was devastated, then relieved: I had failed, and now I could stop. If you don't feel a shiver of excitement or fear, if there's no emotional risk involved, let it go (LET IT GOOO LET IT GOOO!). You can't discount how hard it will be to leave your bad marriage or stop writing your bad book, but if you're unhappy, nothing can get better as long as the status quo stays the status quo.

—Elissa Schappell, author of Blueprints for Building Better Girls

    #17, “How to Listen Better.”

Okay so listening, this is a hard one for so many of us and I feel like it has only become harder with the shortened attention span that social media has given us. (Don’t believe me, consider every video, status, and article you read now and really recall when was the last time it took you more than 5 minutes to get through any of those, beside this one of course.)

Attentive listening use to be a strong suit of mine and then I realized that I had acquired the lovely ability to use selective hearing (not a blessing gentlemen) which made my life a bit harder and as time has gone on I honestly can’t recall half of the things people talked to me about today. How do we overcome this, simple, we force ourselves. We put the phone away, make it silent, sit at a table with people, take turns expressing our pieces, bounce ideas around, ask for feedback, use non-verbal signs to express our interest and concern, and be part of a conversation.

Next time you are talking to someone take note on where your phone is, where their phone is, how many times you both look at them, where your feet are pointing, how both your bodies are situated, your tones, your actions, and see how much of it says, “I want to be here right now.” Once you have done all of this, take a course on Interpersonal Communication or at least google some concepts of it!

 

    #18 is, “How to Get Past Emotional Pain.”

Everything we experience—no matter how unpleasant—comes into our lives to teach us something. To move on from something difficult, look for the lesson. Start by asking yourself: "If this is the way things are supposed to be, what can I learn from it?" Think about how you may have contributed to the painful experience, or if there was anything you could have done to prevent it. Often we don't realize the lesson because we'd rather avoid reliving the pain. But once you allow yourself to reflect on the sadness, anger, guilt, or shame you've been hiding, those feelings will begin to subside. Yes, someone hurt you. Once you've forgiven them and let go, you can move forward and begin creating the life you desire.

—Iyanla Vanzant, host of OWN's Iyanla, Fix My Life

I can’t touch this one because I agree with it, everything we experience is supposed to teach us something and that is why they say, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” The phrase refers to emotional trials (majority of the time) although I am sure there are some physical pains that also apply.

    #19, “How to Buy Great Wine.”

If there are two things I don’t know it is Wine and Scotch. They both taste like bitter, dry, liquids to me that have the potential to get me drunk. I can stomach them both but when there is a choice, I would prefer almost anything else. There are certain occasions where a glass of wine is nice, now as for Scotch, fuck scotch, I will take a Gin if I want to act like I am higher glass than I am.

    #20, after all of this I can honestly say that I almost gave up and said screw getting to twenty but now that I can see it (and I literally didn’t read these in advance, I wrote them as I read them) I can say I am happy I stuck it out because this may be the most important on the list. “How to Laugh at Life.”

The tap water hits a spoon in the sink and sprays you. You pull a window shade and it just keeps going and going. You can't roll up a garden hose in any dignified way. You have to become a connoisseur of these events—“"Wow, look at that, that's great."” You have to hope that a higher power is saying, ”"That was a good one!"” And that you're sharing the divine pleasure it's taking in your misfortune.

—Ian Frazier, author of The Cursing Mommy's Book of Days

After seeing this and thinking back to how I started this blog post I have to laugh. I am going on about how I am stressing and forgetting to just enjoy life and not take it so damn seriously and then we work through all twenty of these and BOOM, the last one is re-iterating the idea that this whole thing began on. Sometimes you really do just have to laugh at Life.

To see the entire list travel on over to : http://www.oprah.com/spirit/20-Things-Everyone-Should-Master-by-Age-40/4

Thank you www.timlikestodraw.com for "letting" me use your image even though you have no idea I did so at the moment.