Judgment: Gay Marriage

    I am not a judgmental person, if anything I may be to accepting of everything and everyone. I have my views and my stances on certain aspects of the world but honestly I believe we spend too much time worrying and judging others about things that will ultimately have no impact on us as individuals. One that truly irks me is the constant issue with Gay and Lesbian marriage rights. I am supportive of the Gay and Lesbian communities struggle and see no issue in allowing them to marry.

    I don’t understand why so many people get worked up over this concept and lack any logical outlook on the issue. It appears that the first big defense of the Anti-Gay-Marriage types is that The Bible states it is wrong, or to put it in their own words, “It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.” That is the most fucking ignorant line I have ever heard in my life by the way! The Bible tells us a lot of things and I honestly believe that one of the largest lessons in it, one that outweighs majority of its ideals, is to “love thy neighbor.”

    Why do we spend so much time judging the way that others choose to live and love and point this finger of judgment at others when many of us are committing our own sins? There is a simple solution to nullify this use of religion in fighting Gay and Lesbian marriage and it is rather simple, just don’t recognize said unions through the church! Seriously, if your strongest argument is that God hates gays, then you are ignorant because we are told that God is forgiving and loves all of his children, and if the church is against these unions then simply allow the unions to take place through the State but not the Church. I understand that this idea is not ideal for any Gay or Lesbian couples that are also religious but keep in mind that it is a small victory in a much larger battle. The Blacks didn’t win all of their rights in one day, nor did Women, and the Jews had to run away and wander the desert for 40 years to even have a chance at what they wanted!

    How is it going to affect me if two people of the same gender want to spend their lives together? If anything I say more power to them for finding someone that makes them happy and inspires them to spend their life with another person! I would love to say that it affects me by removing people from the dating world but even then it doesn’t because they are not potential options in my dating pool, no they are over in their own pools having a blast on the water slides and chilling next to the poolside bar!

    I believe it is time that we quit judging people for their sexuality and stop using the term gay as some form of insult or way to attack others, and instead accept that the world is a changing place and people will love who they love. I have no right to question why anyone ends up with who they do and honestly believe I should only show concern when there are noticeable issues in a relationship like abusive natures or lack of support. I urge everyone to honestly consider how it would affect you if Gay and Lesbian marriage was legal and if it would truly ruin your life in any way?

 P.S Anyone who agrees or dis-agrees with these views please feel free to comment or write me back with a response of some sort. I have no shame in discussing this topic or any topic with anyone and would love to consider the opposite point of view on reasonable arguments.

Introduction to: Wasted Youth

    I think I should give a little background as to how this blog came to be and why it is what it is. As of one year today I started my first big boy job. I stepped into corporate America; roughly 5 months ago I became newly single from a relationship that will always play a big factor in my life, and roughly some hour of January 1^st, 2015 I realized that I had let a great deal of my life pass me by.

    Hear me out, that is not to say that I wasted any number of years, No, most of it held great lessons for life. What I mean by “pass me by” is that I spent so much time trying to figure out how to grow up that I never stopped to be a young adult and truly do things that left me with those WTF stories.  

    Wasted Youth summarizes that exact view, those years from 18 to 26 where you live with a sense of little consequence because you feel invincible. I am not saying I don’t have any stories from those years, (I do, and I may share them sometime) but not as many as I should, and defiantly not as crazy as they should be.  Granted that doesn’t mean I plan to make up for those years by acting like a barbarian in life for the next few, but I did make a resolution to live every day to the best of my ability in 2015. Wasted Youth is meant to be a collection of thoughts and experiences that I have learned from my years of constant worry about how to grow up and be an adult and the new adventures I experience in life in the coming years. I want it to be something that makes people think and evaluate, something that makes them laugh and even cry. I honestly just wanted a way to share things with the world that maybe they weren’t seeing themselves.

    I spent my late teens trying to discover what was wrong with me and then again in my early twenties. I spent my early and mid-twenties wondering how to be an adult who could take care of himself and loved ones and someday provide for a family. I spent all of those years constantly wanting to know what I was supposed to do instead of finding it for myself. If you have ever felt lost or confused, ever questioned your purpose or just felt like an outcast than I hope that Wasted Youth can inspire you time and time again but if not, I hope that you take at least one little thing with you from it…Live Your Life!

 

 

Being A Hero

   I use to take pride in this story from my childhood. When I was a wee tot, the exact age escapes me; I remember being in this fun house at the state fair and at the top was this rope bridge that led to the exit. It was sturdy and had multi-colored planks but at the beginning of it was this small boy, maybe 4 or 5, who was afraid to cross. He stood there and cried as other kids just pushed past him and ran across to the slide at the other end. At the bottom of the fun house his mom stood there looking up at him and telling that it was “OK” and to “Come on.”

    I don’t know what it was but something compelled me to help this little guy. I remember crouching down and looking at him and saying something to convince him to give me his hand as we went across the bridge together. His mom at the bottom was cheering him on and applauding him going across and once we had made it safely, like there was any doubt, I let go of his hand and sent him down the slide. Once I was sure he was down I hopped into the tube myself and followed. At the bottom his mom thanked me for helping which at the time meant nothing to me because I was a kid and just thought it was the right thing to do.

    Fast forward to today, 26 years old and I have this one line stuck in my head, a line from The Dark Knight that Harvey Dent says, “You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”

    I am very much alive much like you are, but I can honestly say that at some point in my life I stopped helping small children cross safe bridges and face their own fears and instead became the kid who pushes past. That sounds a little harsher than it really is but I want to keep it that way for my point. I feel like the older I have become the colder I have become. I feel like I pass up on more chances to help those in need than I do help and what is worse is that I don’t feel much of anything in doing so.

    Why did I stop trying to be the hero and instead started being the villain? When did I stop being there for those who need it and instead start focusing on me? Is it the world that has made me so cold to doing the right thing? Every day you hear about people doing the wrong thing. Every day you experience someone getting steps ahead of you by watching out for their self. Every day you notice how you seem too loose while someone else plays the game and wins. The world has possibly made us cold to an idea of a greater cause but isn’t that always the struggle of a true hero, to take on the weight of the world while everyone else is benefiting from it or breaking the rules to get their way?

    The answer is simple, the world isn’t black and white, it isn’t Batman and Joker, or Good and Evil. The world is a scheme of grey that allows us to choose where our actions fall on the spectrum. We have the option to help push that car down the road to the gas station or give that person dressed in rags a few dollars. What is stopping us from being a hero in the eyes of your friends, children, and lover? Nothing forces us to do good or bad, we choose to, but the real question here is: Are we all slowly becoming the villain, and if so, is it too late to die a hero?

Fantasy and Effect

    You walk into a dark cave with a cold draft; your only light is the torch you hold in your hand. You step slowly into the cavern and listen to your footsteps echo and in the distance you hear a faint dripping sound which may be your only salvation, water. The faint light illuminates the ground as you step forward and hear a large crunch; under your foot are the fragments of a human skull. You sense danger in the area which is confirmed by the sound of a deep growl ahead of you. The walls begin to taper in as you come to a small opening. You squeeze your arms in tight and begin to slide through the small crevice, the deeper you go the smaller your pathway gets. Your torch goes out but in the distance you see a small gleam, not a flicker but more like a small sliver of pure white light. You approach the light as it begins to grow in size. The walls of the cavern come into focus and the stone is a deep red color. You hear another growl and grow hesitant while making your way forward. The light begins to engulf you and burn your eyes as you step out of the cave and into an open field. The grass sways in the wind and the sun warms your skin for a brief moment before you notice a movement in the distance. You focus on the movement and notice it coming at you fast. It cuts to the left and then quickly jumps to the right trying to psych you out. You grasp at your weapon and draw it from its sheath but it is too late, you are now standing face to face with….YOUR LIFE!

 

    I know, a very odd opening but don’t worry because it is about to make sense. Today I want to talk to you all about FANTASY. I don’t mean fantasy fiction or fantasy creatures; no I mean the idea that so many of us live our lives dwelling in fucking fantasy worlds! You may be thinking that I am full of shit and that you spend no time in a fantasy but be honest, you do.

    Fantasy has taken on a great deal of forms in our world today. Many of us have basic ways to lose ourselves in fantasy worlds. Social Media has become the greatest fantasy to date. We wake up and spend so much time loosing ourselves in apps like Facebook or Twitter and quickly stop caring about the real world. We can argue that watching social media is an attempt to keep up with the real world and know what is happening in the world but what are we really doing? We are reading “articles” titled “25 moments that blankity blank did blanking blank” or stalking our ex’s and expressing our dislike for shit that really doesn’t matter. This is fine, I understand that we all need a break from the work day and I honestly should not complain because you most likely took a link from Facebook to even read this blog but there are so many people you see who live their lives on social media, glued to their phones and tablets, and never stop to look up and actually see the world right there around them. There is a great short film I find very inspiring about this whole issue by Gary Turk, if you haven’t seen it then I highly recommend you check it out here: http://youtu.be/Z7dLU6fk9QY  No seriously, go ahead, I’ll wait.

    I haven’t put it as elegantly as Turk but I do want to share the same message, we should live our lives and follow our dreams, quit worrying about posts and focus on sharing the big things, not with everyone and anyone but those we truly love and hope that in the end we can admire what we have done.

    With that being said, I can’t digress because there is still a great deal of fantasy to address. There are other forms of fantasy that keep us from moving and it’s because it offers an abundance of movies. Netflix and Hulu are two things that have given us so much control and yet such little free will, the power to pause and resume has killed our drive to seek out thrills. I love having my shows at the touch of a button but binge watching has become a speed bump in life. We tell ourselves just one more episode but then it becomes two, and three, and then four hours later you are starting season five and the day has gone by. We lose focus on the things that really matter and instead begin to wonder which character we would be if lost on an island. I know what you are thinking, there are plenty more fantasies than that, like Video Games, and Porn, and even Reddit. I could be doing more with my time, like cleaning my attic instead of playing Call of Duty like some kind of addict.

    I am not writing this to tell you all that we should stop using these things, not in the slightest. I understand that the real world can suck and often comes at us. What I hope to say is that we use these things to escape out problems. We hide ourselves in issues that don’t matter or games that distract us in order to not deal with the issues around us. We cannot avoid drama, nor can we hide from it so why don’t we step back from our fantasy and just take on the world and whatever it throws at us.

That Moment of Clarity-What I Got

    There are times when you have been dragged through the mud, kicked while you are down, spat on, and left to lay there in the pouring rain. When these moments occur in life it is hard to see the bright side of things, it is hard to appreciate who we are. Often, in these times or hardship, something right in front of us finally comes into focus and we can finally understand what it really means.

  I have recently had one of these epiphanies and it has really opened my eyes to a whole new idea. This may sound dumb to many of you or even pointless but in all honesty I never truly understood Sublimes, “What I got” until recently when things came together and the words became clear.

 

"Early in the morning, risin' to the street

Light me up that cigarette and I strap shoes on my feet

(This is truly how I feel every morning, this obligation to get up and go out although I would rather sleep just an hour more or kick back all day)

 

Got to find a reason, a reason things went wrong

Got to find a reason why my money's all gone

(I constantly find myself worrying if I am broke, and if I am, how I plan to survive the next week. I over analyze every little thing that happens to me as if it is the biggest failure in my life)

 

I got a dalmation, and I can still get high

 I can play the guitar like a mother fucking riot

(No truth here, I have a dog, Akita/Shepherd mix, and I suck at Guitar)

 Well, life is (too short), so love the one you got

 'Cause you might get runover or you might get shot

 Never start no static I just get it off my chest

 Never had to battle with no bulletproof vest

 Take a small example, take a tip from me

 Take all of your money, give it all to charity

 Love is what I got

 It's within my reach

 And the Sublime style's still straight from Long Beach

 It all comes back to you, you'll finally get what you deserve

 Try and test that you're bound to get served

 Love's what I got

 Don't start a riot

 You'll feel it when the dance gets hot

(The chorus, this is where it all finally makes sense to me. We have such a limited number of days to enjoy this world and none of us knows when that time is up or what will take us out but we can make the most of it and prolong it the most we can if we don’t stress, live every day to the fullest, and openly accept the world with love. Once we have lived our lives for ourselves and show compassion and love to others we create a brighter world and in doing so good fortune will fall back on us.)

 Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that

 Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that

 Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that

 Lovin', is what I got

 

 (That's) why I don't cry when my dog runs away

 I don't get angry at the bills I have to pay

(I don’t cry when Tazz gets out, I honestly trust him to come home once he gets tired of sniffing around and I know that in order to enjoy the things I do it will cost money, so why fret or get upset about it? Why curse at the bill collectors if you get hit with a late fee, you knew you had to pay it so shrug it off and keep going.)

 I don't get angry when my Mom smokes pot

 Hits the bottle and goes right to the rock

 Fuckin' and fightin', it's all the same

 Livin' with Louie dog's the only way to stay sane

 Let the lovin', let the lovin' come back to me

( I have nothing for this part, luckily my moms are both very straight laced people who don’t depend on toxins in order to feel well but as someone who does smoke and drink I must say that it is part of my young adult years so no reason to get mad at myself.)

 Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that

 Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that

 Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that

 Lovin', is what I got, I got I got I got 

    Now after that I am sure many of you are rolling your eyes because I am that late to the party or I sound like some hippie talking about living a care free lifestyle. Honestly, I am just trying to say that if we quit sweating the small stuff we can enjoy everything the world has to offer.

    When 2015 began I made a resolution to live every day to the fullest and be there for those who truly want me around. It is now February 4^th and I can honestly say that I have kept up with this resolution and experienced some very crazy nights, some oddly inappropriate nights, and even nights of pure relaxation. I have spent more time with family and friends than I have in the past and have even taken on new goals. What I am trying to say is if you share happiness, respect, and love with the world, good things will happen, you just have to know how to accept them.

    Also, just in case reading the lyrics weren’t enough hit the link below and enjoy…or hell, just turn your damn IPod on because we all have this song!

http://youtu.be/0Uc3ZrmhDN4

 

 

That Empty Feeling...

    I am sitting here tonight and waiting for a cup of mint green tea to brew and thinking about a feeling. Honestly, I am thinking of the lack of a feeling. It is safe to say that we have all felt a feeling of emptiness before, and I don’t mean hunger, I mean an internal emptiness. It is best described as when you feel hollow inside, like nothing you do really matters.

    I know I have felt this feeling and I am sure many of you have as well. I struggled with the feeling a great deal in my early adult years and at times I still do. I have spent a great deal of time combating that feeling and its many different forms. I think we as people can feel empty whenever different things are lacking in our life.

 

  

 

  I know that one of the biggest times I have to battle the emptiness is when I am single and alone. I think that when we are single we believe there is something wrong with us and we start a quest to pinpoint what it is. We begin to analyze every aspect of ourselves and try to change anything we can in hopes of finding a way to fill that emptiness. I believe that we fail to recognize what it is we have to offer to the world because that emptiness consumes us all and begins to break us down as people. The problem is that we have been lead to believe that we are failing because we are alone. Television, Storybooks, and even Music have convinced us that love is the all-powerful and without it you are an outcast. The world isn’t a fairytale and we are not worthless because we are single. We need to learn that this time alone is a time for us to grow and strengthen ourselves, a time to appreciate who we are and discover what we really have to offer the world. This may be one of the hardest forms of emptiness to combat but once you do there is so much you can learn about yourself.

    Loneliness is not the only reason we can feel empty, another form is feeling unaccomplished. When you look at your life and see this routine for every day and every night you can start to feel empty. That feeling of going nowhere and striving for nothing can really bring a person down. I think a big factor to do with this is also one that may be hard to beat. Technology, it has given us the ability of instant gratification and because of that our long sighted goals have come to a near extinction because we constantly want to feel good and can achieve small boosts of that feeling quickly now simply by finding a funny video online or reading a post on Facebook. Imagine it as a cigarette smoker, 5 minutes of quick endorphins that perk you up for a short while before you do it again. The more you do it, the more of a tolerance you build and then suddenly it becomes a constant in order to feel good. Instant gratification has become the number one drug of America and it is killing our drive to achieve bigger things. It saps away the feeling of a big accomplishment or anything we do that gives us a reason to live.

    I think it is time we find ways to stop feeling empty at such young ages and start enjoying the things we can accomplish. We stop seeking out instant gratification and basic human connection but instead we take on a big task and feel that surge of power from completing it. We put ourselves out there and truly get to know people before writing them off or using them for our own endorphin rush.  I say we all need to find our true selves, our true passions, and our true goals and make sure that each and every one of them meets completion. That is how we overcome any feeling of emptiness, to always be pushing a little further or trying a little more.

Being a Better You!

    Sitting here tonight, doing a great deal of self-evaluating while drinking what I like to call a Tennessee Tango but most would refer to as a Whiskey Sour. There are some nights where you just cannot escape everything that is bubbling inside of you, and I don’t mean guts. Often when I start to reflect on myself I think back on things I have done that have got me here. Some nights they are the good things, others they are the bad. Tonight in particular I was thinking about the things I do when I am single, and how they affect me. It is funny how sometimes you stumble across the best things to help you through the mood you are in, tonight was one of those nights.

    I love to read a blog by James Michael Sama known as “The New Chivalry Movement” because it inspires me to be a better man. Tonight I strolled across a post of his that really hit home with me, like many of his writings do. The entry in mention is titled, “10 Dating Norms You Need To Stop Accepting.” Tonight, I would like to reflect on some of these and my past actions and where I would like to be in the near future.

Having to keep working for their approval:

Sama defines this one simply as, “A man or woman should be with you because they value and appreciate who you are, not what you do or how well you sell yourself to them.”

    I can honestly say that I believe that majority of the people in my life do appreciate me for who I am. I think they appreciate the fact that I am a cut up, very off-the-cuff, outgoing person who also knows when to straighten up and act right. I also believe that they appreciate that I always try to be there for the big things and most of the small things, but I’m not focusing on this one because of how people see me, no, I honestly feel I have victimized people with this idea. I honestly feel I have put out a great deal of negative vibes into the world in the past by expecting more from people than I should and not accepting them when they fail. It is something that I can recognize now and can honestly hope that I learn from and can focus on not doing so in the future.

Continuously repeating the same mistakes:

“Someone who keeps promising to change or do things differently, but repeatedly doesn’t, is showing you a clear pattern…”

    I am very guilty of this one as well, which I assume we all are. I have fallen for this one myself and sadly have used this tactic in the past to get my way. It is a sad tactic for anyone to use but personally I look back at the times I did and shake my head at that younger me. A real man doesn’t promise to change; he shows you change and lives up to that decision every day. I aim to never use this “promise of change” ever again and instead to be honest and show change.

Cheating:

“Some people think that second chances are acceptable. I, on the other hand, think that if someone discarded your feelings enough to cheat on you once, they’ll do it again.”

    I agree, people are creatures of habit and when they succumb to their primal urges it shows a weak will. What is worse is that cheating has become so second nature to such a number of people these days that it doesn’t have an impact like it used to.  Cheating is an interesting term, everyone defines what it is in their own ways but if at any point you feel that you have been cheated then it is time to go your separate ways, odds are the cheater is going to promise to change and then repeat the cycle.

Invasion of privacy:

“In a healthy relationship, there is no need to hide anything. Texts, emails, Facebook messages – whatever. But that doesn’t mean your partner has the right to snoop through them…”

    Again, I am guilty as charged and feel that this is one the new world will have an issue with. With everyone posting everything that they can it creates a sense of distress when someone hides something from you. If you don’t believe me get a group of friends together and have one of them show everyone in the group a photo or text except for 1 person, Majority of people will ask what it is or why they didn’t get to see. Think about how you feel when you walk up to someone showing another person something online, your interest is peaked. What we have forgotten is that everyone is due their privacy even in a relationship. I do agree though, in a truly solid relationship you should be able to tell your other-half anything.

   At this point I want to digress, there are plenty more that Sama writes about and I agree with them all but I feel like these are the major ones that I personally need to work on. Granted I have experienced one side or the other, and sometimes both of every single one of his suggested ideas and could sit here and write about these experiences in depth but I honestly wrote this as a form of self-reflection and pointing fingers at others is not worth the effort. We have all made mistakes, we all have our flaws, and we all will experience these at times, but the real goal to anything and everything we do should always be to constantly better ourselves.

If you would like to read more of James Michael Sama’s work then please use the link below, I promise you won’t be disappointed.

http://jamesmsama.com/

The Musician Mashup and Zaboys!

    Sitting here tonight, drinking nothing (I can’t always be
drinking something people, come on!) and thinking about music. I spent some time tonight at The Musician Mash-up hosted by West as J.Gilligans here in the lovely Arlington, Texas and I always appreciate it. In this day where the radio just regurgitates the same bullshit over and over it is nice to hear new aspiring artists and their takes on the hits. I’m not saying I am a big Indy
music fan because even the term Indy has lost its meaning. If you don’t believe me then turn on Pandora and listen to the Indy station, it is the same shit youget from 102.1 The Edge!

 

    The Musician Mash-up is an open mic night hosted by West
where any and all local musicians can come out on Monday nights and play anything from covers to originals for the bar. It is free to join in, all you have to do is put your name on the list. Tonight we had some great tunes from West himself which got the whole ball rolling.

   

    West is a young local artist with a great deal of original
work too and all around one of the most down to earth guys I have met. His original work is some of the best lyrics and melodies I have heard and honestly I catch myself singing them in the car and in my head at work.

    After West we had Tristan who brought some new life into some modern hits that really got the bar going. My favorite was his spin on Bruno Mars new song Uptown Funk. It was a fun set and defiantly something worth catching some night.
   
    I have to say that The Musician Mash-up brings a new spark of life into J.Gilligans on Monday nights that most bars do not see and if you are ever looking for something to do on a quiet Monday you should check it out. The show starts at 10:15 and rolls until either close or the list is done. A good number of local artists have rolled through the Mash-up and if you really dig on
the idea of hearing what DFW has to offer music wise or are a local act looking for some extra recognition or play time then defiantly check this spot out. Also, good number of these local groups are gaining more recognition thanks to a great Podcast that is locally produced here in Arlington by the guys over at Zaboys! They put out a new episode every week and put a great deal of heart and soul into what they do. If you enjoy a good laugh, some thought provoking conversation, or just a great way to kill the silence then defiantly check out Zaboys radio show at:

www.Zaboysmedia.com
Be sure to check them out!

Elders and Knowledge

  





  Sitting here tonight, alone on what it a chilly and dark night that follows a day full of rain, drinking water, yes water and I am thinking about a conversation I had with my Grand Ma earlier. It was just a quick exchange about nothing important but it got me thinking. There will come a day where you will realize that one of your grandparents is somewhat of a smartass. After that you will start to remember growing up with them and recall some great things. That is what I did tonight, and it got me thinking about all of my grandparents.

    I was lucky enough to have more than the standard 4 grandparents in my life, somehow I managed to meet end up with seven grandparents and each of them was a character in their own way. I wanted to take a moment to recognize them and just share some memories I have with them and of them.

Grandpa T:

    Of all of my grandparents this is the only one I never got to know. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to; if anything he intrigues me the most because he passed before I even existed. I remember this picture of him sitting on this hutch in Grandma T’s place. He looked a great deal like my dad but with longer hair in the picture. I never really get to hear stories about him but from the few I have I get the impression that he was a hardworking man. Honestly the most I have ever heard about him is that he once operated a gas station and that back in those days you could only get gas on certain days because it was regulated by the government during wartime and your license plate determined which days you could pump. I imagine if my dad is anything like his father then that must be where his dedication to prove comes from.

Grandma T:

    I knew Grandma T for most of my childhood. She passed when I was twenty if I recall correctly. She was always stern while I was growing up. She wasn’t a fan of horseplay but she was still a caretaker. She would always offer you something to drink and to help with anything you did when you were over. I remember she always had a bowl of peanut M&M’s by her kitchen and when the grandkids came over those things were like gold! We never really thanked her for having those; I guess we just always expected them to be there. I think her passing has really taken a toll on the family dynamic, we use to gather at least 3 to 4 times a year back then and now it seems like we only come together once a year and in fractured groups. I never really understood her sternness when I was younger but now I look back and realize she was the kind of woman who survived through some hard times and had to be a strong woman to do so; especially with 7 kids.

Grandma K and Grandpa K:

    These two amaze me constantly; there are few people in the world who are as open and caring as these two. I honestly cannot say I have met many people who have opened their home to complete strangers and treated them like part of the family. These two embody that old married couple so well and to see all of the friends and family they have made over the years is just amazing. I would love to read a book written by these two of just everything they have experienced to this day. It is a shame I have not got to be as close to these two as my sisters have but I am happy to have them in my life as such positive role models.

Grandpa V:

    This is another grandparent I barely got to know but I did for a bit whenever I saw him. My mother says I really don’t know him but honestly I feel like I have a great deal of his genes in me. He always seemed like the free-living, think outside of the box kind of guy and I pride myself on being able to do that so well. I’m not sure how judgmental he was but I would like to think my liberal views may stem some from him. He was a pack rat which I can defiantly say has been a task for me to overcome in life, but eventually you have to tell yourself that you don’t  need the token as long as you have the memory.

Grandma B:

    This would be the grandparent I am the closes to and the one who got me thinking about all of this. I said earlier, there will be a day when you realize one of your grandparents is a smartass. I’m not saying she is a direct and belligerent smartass, but she definitely has a way with words and the ability to hold her own. I remember being younger and staying over at her place every so often. We would always watch Nick-at-Night and eat slices of cheese and apples while watching I Love Lucy. This may be where my love of cheese comes from, thanks Granny; I’ll have horrible cholesterol forever now. As I grew older I did what most people do, pulled away from family and thought I knew everything about life. When I was 18-20, Grandma V, my mom, and I all lived in a house and I started to grow closer to her again. Now that I am 26 I can honestly say I have had some very odd and interesting conversations with her about everything, life, love, and family. I gotta say that I wouldn’t trade her for the world.

Grandpa B:

    Grandpa B was a grandparent that I wish I had not been so afraid of. When I was younger I remember him taking my cousin and I to Dairy Queen and buying us ice cream while he caught up with his buddies. He was also a stern type and a little set in his ways but all around he was good with me. I wish I had got to know him better, when he passed I found his old briefcase filled with cards from co-workers wishing him to get better soon and happy birthdays. Some of the things I read in those cards made me wonder if I had ever really knew the true Grand-dad-B. I always loved playing on his boat and messing around in his vegetable garden. I often get the urge to garden myself but never follow through because I have such a horrible green thumb. On my 26^th birthday I rented a boat and went out on Joe Pool Lake, for some reason the open air on that lake and the trees all around it just felt right to me, I wonder if playing on his boat as a kid made it all feel like second nature. Some Sundays, he would fry catfish for dinner and honestly I haven’t had a piece of fried catfish that good since.

    Thinking about this makes me wonder if we take our time with our loved ones for granted, and if we ever really stop to listen to our elders and take in the knowledge of life that they have to offer. When you really stop think about it, they have been through everything we have and made it through alive, and hell they had to do it without cell-phones, facebook, and prescription drugs for almost every ailment. Maybe we should sit down and listen for a bit, take something in, and see if we don’t walk away with a new life lesson. I invite any and all of you to write about your grandparents too and to feel free to post it down on the comment box, or e-mail me, or even on the facebook post.

Drink Like You Mean It!

    Sitting here with a Jack & Coke harboring a solid ball of ice and it has me thinking of my days behind the bar. It seems these days that there are such few bartenders with a sense of adventure, creativity, and originality. It seems that every time I ask a bartender to play dealers choice on any drink I end up with a shot of the dreaded Fireball! I’m sorry but Fireball is the worst shit on earth. The fucking shot trend is horrible; first it was Jager-Bombs, then Firefly Sweet Tea, then Rumple, now it’s fucking Fireball! The next time you are at the bar try giving one of these drinks a try:

The Nor-Cal:

  

 

 

 

 

  A simple drink for any of you gym buffs because it is low calorie and easy to drink. I had a cross-fit instructor ask me for this the first time I heard of it and to this day he tells me it is still the best he had. Finding a bartender who will make it right for you will be the real challenge.

-1-1/2 oz. of Tequila, usually silver but gold can work

-1 full key lime or half of a regular lime.

-Kosher Salt

-Soda Water

    The secret to this drink is the limes, you have to muddle the damn limes! Put them in your mixing tin or glass and mash the hell out of these little shits while the sit in the tequila. Your goal is to release that citrus juice and lime pulp so that it quickly infuses with the flavor of the tequila.

    Now, add your Kosher Salt to this mix, some soda water, and some ice and shake the ever loving shit out of it! I mean all of your effort, put that damn tin over your shoulder and just go to town like you are pissed at it! Not one fucking shake, not two, this isn’t a drink you want a busy night club bartender making, you want someone who can put effort into it.

    Once you are done shaking you are going to pour this into a salted rim glass and add a little fresh ice and add another lime to the edge just for looks. Toss in a straw and serve. It should have a clear color with a very light hint of green.

The Adult Root Beer Float:

    Going to the opposite end of the spectrum I want to suggest an amazing dessert drink to share with your date, friend, or hetero-life-mate. This drink came to me when I was trying to convince a couple to have desert but they wanted to drink more, two birds one stone!

 

-1oz of Baileys

-3/4oz of Godiva Chocolate Liqueur

-2 scoops of Vanilla ice cream

-1 bottle of IBC Root beer

- Whip Cream

-Chocolate Syrup

    This one is quick and simple, stack your two scoops of vanilla ice cream into a pint glass and pour your liquor over the top, both of those bitches! Add your IBC to the glass so that you get the bubbly frothiness and then top it with some whip cream and a quick chocolate syrup drizzle. Stick in some straws and spoons and serve mutha-fucka!

The NPH:

    Simple, Quick, Delicious…..

 

    Done!

   (Kidding, that would be disgusting but I do need to make a drink for this name.)

Basil Bloody Mary:

    This one I put together for a contest and made it to the top 16 out of 300 entries. It is a pretty simple twist on a classic. Think tomato basil soup in a glass with alcohol you bastard!

 

-1-1/2oz of vodka

-tomato juice

-basil

-kosher salt

-black pepper

-tabasco

-Worcestershire sauce

-lime

   

 

    First, pour your vodka into a mixing tin and slap your basil around like a red headed step child to wake it up before tossing it into the tin. Muddle the two together lightly and then add some ice. Add a pinch of kosher salt, 2 to 3 splashes of tabasco, 2 splashes of Worcestershire, a squeeze of lime, black pepper and then your tomato juice. Shake the hell out of this mixture and pour it into a glass with a salted or peppered rim and top off with some fresh ice.  Feel free to garnish with olives, celery, or those damn little banana peppers. Serve… and never google the term Bloody Mary under images.

The American Dream: College

    I am sitting here drinking a Dos X’s with no lime and no salt, thinking about the future and the current state of the American College System.  I have been spending a lot of time thinking about returning to college lately and when I do I get…what is the word everyone keeps using for it…Pensive. The idea really bothers me for a few simple reasons.

   
    One, I have always been bored sitting in lecture halls and class rooms as someone reads off a power-point to me and expects me to pull the key concepts from it fast enough while also maintaining interest and being able to understand it. (If I was getting paid like Charles Dickens that line alone would have netted me $44). I’m not a fan of the being talked at, but preferably talked to. I had a psychology professor once who may have been the most boring psychology professor of all time. It is psychology, the study of the human brain, you are teaching it, and you should understand what makes people tick! She would literally burn through her power-points without pause and if anyone asked her to slow down she would respond, “The power-points are online, you should be reading them at home and taking notes.” Why would I want to listen to you read it in class if I am expected to go home and go over it again! Use the classroom time to offer more in-depth information if you want us to study your power-points at home! Needless to say, I dropped that class since I was constantly skipping it for lunch instead.

    Two, the cost of college is so astronomically high that is really doesn’t allow for the less fortunate of us to even try to pursue it without either going broke or racking up a ginormous amount of debt. I understand there are scholarships, and financial aid, and community college that can all help in the process but be honest, what are the odds that a lower class individual will qualify for a scholarship unless they are a minority or somehow beat out every other kid in their school GPA wise. Why do you think there are so many ethnic teenagers trying to make it as athletes and celebrity types these days? They honestly do not feel like there are equal opportunities for them. Now granted anyone who studies hard enough and tries hard enough can go as far as they want and ethnicity has nothing to do with that so it is a bunch of stereotyping but guess what…Stereotypes exist for a reason and are formed from others evaluating the populous. Financial aid is a great system if you can actually figure out how to fill out (a) F.A.F.S.A and/or qualify for aid because you actually come from what the Government considers a lower income home. The first time I filled out (a) F.A.F.S.A it made no sense to me and although I see why now, I qualified for nothing. Community College, they may as well call it repeating High School for a few years while you earn college credit. You ultimately sit in a class with kids who would have actually been interchangeable in your High School and fuck it, let’s be honest, a few of them probably are from your High School, and get taught stuff you should already know except that the public school system was unable to capture 75% of these students attention and focused more time on a state mandated test! I spent time in Community College; it is High School with less friends, no set lunch time, and longer passing periods.

    Three, the fact that you are paying such a large sum to attend classes that could mostly be taught through an apprentice style system while on job is a real kick in the nuts! I mean honestly, to me at least, it seems like you are going into debt for a pretty piece of tea stained paper with frilly printed boarders on it and a gold leaf name in big bold print across the top just so you can say, “Look where I went, I’m better than you and all it cost was eighty-thousand dollars!” I get if you are a Doctor or some form of Scientist why you need to go to college, so other assholes can try to prevent you from making the same mistakes uppity assholes made in the 1800’s, but does someone really need to go to college for a fucking art degree or a teaching degree? I know that second suggestion is going to really piss some people off but stop and think about it. Anyone can teach anyone else something new. I once taught small children how to play with fire, and an old friend taught me how to smoke cigarettes. We are all capable of being teachers! A positive example of this would be that I know the few things I do about construction from my father who learned it on the job. I have taught a customer of mine how to use the Pythagorean Theorem to find the diagonal measurement of a triangle. Who says you need a degree to tell other people who they need to learn…I have to digress because I am about to roll into a whole different topic and if I do this will go on forever. I believe I have made my view clear.

    In closing, I understand the positive potential college has which is why I am considering returning to it, I just wish it hadn’t become such a costly means to expanding ones horizons. Also, I know this is a horrible closing paragraph in any form of writing but fuck the rules, you get my point, you have the ability to argue all you want, and the American attention span is short so by now you probably have quit reading anyways.

 

Greatness

  




    Sitting here, drinking coffee and wondering one thing, what drives you to greatness? I was really torn by this question and decided to question people about what drove them. I received a very mixed answer pool and decided to share a few before trying to answer this question myself.

    One answer I received from a spunky friend of mine was the fact that she grows anxious from not doing things. Attention Deficit Disorder seems to be a great motivator but she has not been diagnosed with this. A natural inner push to stay busy and always be achieving seems to be her driving force.

    A close friend of mine who I respect greatly gave me a simpler answer; A fear of failure. I would imagine that fear would be debilitating and cause one to freeze or never even try to achieve greatness. He clarified this in a sense, the fear of failing as a person pushes him to achieve more of his goals.

    A spiritual friend of mine explained her drive as, “The desire to glorify God in all that [she does].” This one is harder for me to relate to. I have my relationship with God but I like to feel like he watches over us and only intervenes if we ask him to, and even though in mysterious ways. I can see how having faith helps keep the push to go far alive.

     Recently an old friend and I started talking again. He has taken his life in a new direction and it is rather inspiring. He has developed a view changing the world and giving back and it is working well for him. His answer was direct, “A big part of it is me just trying to make this life something.” The desire to never waste a moment and go far is a great reason to push forward through everything.

    After this I decided to google greatness, to be more specific the exact search was, “What drives people to greatness?” The first answer I found interesting was the, “7 Traits of Greatness” which begins with the Power of Mission and Vision. A key factor in trait 1 is stated, “They [business achievers] build causes; not businesses. They are crusaders, propelled by a vision to make the world a much better place, with conviction and perseverance to make it happen.” This ties great to interview 4, his new convictions and desire to make life something and give back to this world is a direct trait of greatness.

    Another trait of greatness is “Power of the Journey.” It explains this by mentioning Walt Disney and his multiple failures and financial disasters that could have led him to failure. This shows that someone moving towards greatness doesn’t allow them to be frozen in fear but instead enjoys the trials and terrors while continuing.

    The “7 Traits of Greatness” has more to offer but I cannot cover them all. If you would like to continue the article then I will have a link for it lower down. My next resource was another site titled, “Motivation for Dreamers.” This article reveals “the secret” to greatness with one simple idea, “The secret to attaining greatness is simply to do every small thing in a great way.” It goes on to explain that greatness is not fueled by talent and it is not predetermined because, “There aren’t any great men. There are just great challenges that ordinary men are forced to meet.” This is rather inspiring to consider. We can all be great if we just try to do so.

    After reviewing all of this I finally feel like I can answer my own question, “What drives ME to greatness?” I honestly have no answer for this question because I have never felt like I have aimed for greatness. I constantly find myself frozen by the idea of failure and because of that I only attempt things that I know I can succeed at. The things I can succeed at are simple and meaningless so ultimately I will either continue in mediocrity or have to change something to achieve greatness. What drives me to greatness… now; it is the desire to feel greatness at least once in my life.

Links:

http://www.businessknowhow.com/growth/greatness.htm

http://www.motivation-for-dreamers.com/call-to-greatness.html