What This Blog Should Be...

It has been a few years since I have written anything for this blog. When I started it my goal was to write about my life and journey to make up for the lost time of my life from the four years previous. I had hoped it would be a tale of debauchery and drunken idiocy, something equivalent to that of Tucker Max or Hank Moody. It was nothing like that, instead, the pendulum swung the other direction. I spent the past few years growing more than I ever would have expected. 

I had this idea that since I was in a committed relationship from the age of 21 to 25 that I had let a great deal of the those crazy moments escape me and it was time to catch up, so while some of my closest friends were having kids or getting divorced, I wanted to try psychedelic mushrooms or sleep with a multitude of loose women. I was fresh out of a breakup that was not my choice so I obviously was not in my right mind. I started by spending most nights drunk. Actually, it was every night. If I was not out with a friend in Dallas then I was sitting in a dive bar drinking with 50 year old addicts and failures. I would drink enough to get to sleep at night and go into work hung over every morning. I nearly lost my job over it. This probably sounds depressing or pitiful, and it was, but the truth is, I would not trade those days for anything.

It was those days that led me to meeting new people and those new people who gave me reasons to drink in high spirits instead of low. I spent the next few months, no, years re-learning who I was and began to love myself. The stories that I thought I would write in this blog all changed. I was living life but the stories were not about sowing my oats or destroying myself, instead they are about appreciating who I am, growing as a person, and learning to love myself. I have not written any of those stories here because I quickly realized that my story is not the same as someone else’s. I have kept most of those stories to myself because they were the exact opposite of what this blog was supposed to be but now, I look back and realize that those were the stories I should have told, the only problem is that no matter how I tell them, you would not understand them unless you live them yourself. 

What I can say is this, never look at a decision you have made and see it as a mistake. Don’t regret those past relationship or choices. Don’t regret what you did on a whim. It is those decisions that can shape your life, it is those decisions that could take you from drinking yourself to sleep, to sleeping soundly knowing you are appreciated and loved.

Drink Like You Mean It!

    Sitting here with a Jack & Coke harboring a solid ball of ice and it has me thinking of my days behind the bar. It seems these days that there are such few bartenders with a sense of adventure, creativity, and originality. It seems that every time I ask a bartender to play dealers choice on any drink I end up with a shot of the dreaded Fireball! I’m sorry but Fireball is the worst shit on earth. The fucking shot trend is horrible; first it was Jager-Bombs, then Firefly Sweet Tea, then Rumple, now it’s fucking Fireball! The next time you are at the bar try giving one of these drinks a try:

The Nor-Cal:

  

 

 

 

 

  A simple drink for any of you gym buffs because it is low calorie and easy to drink. I had a cross-fit instructor ask me for this the first time I heard of it and to this day he tells me it is still the best he had. Finding a bartender who will make it right for you will be the real challenge.

-1-1/2 oz. of Tequila, usually silver but gold can work

-1 full key lime or half of a regular lime.

-Kosher Salt

-Soda Water

    The secret to this drink is the limes, you have to muddle the damn limes! Put them in your mixing tin or glass and mash the hell out of these little shits while the sit in the tequila. Your goal is to release that citrus juice and lime pulp so that it quickly infuses with the flavor of the tequila.

    Now, add your Kosher Salt to this mix, some soda water, and some ice and shake the ever loving shit out of it! I mean all of your effort, put that damn tin over your shoulder and just go to town like you are pissed at it! Not one fucking shake, not two, this isn’t a drink you want a busy night club bartender making, you want someone who can put effort into it.

    Once you are done shaking you are going to pour this into a salted rim glass and add a little fresh ice and add another lime to the edge just for looks. Toss in a straw and serve. It should have a clear color with a very light hint of green.

The Adult Root Beer Float:

    Going to the opposite end of the spectrum I want to suggest an amazing dessert drink to share with your date, friend, or hetero-life-mate. This drink came to me when I was trying to convince a couple to have desert but they wanted to drink more, two birds one stone!

 

-1oz of Baileys

-3/4oz of Godiva Chocolate Liqueur

-2 scoops of Vanilla ice cream

-1 bottle of IBC Root beer

- Whip Cream

-Chocolate Syrup

    This one is quick and simple, stack your two scoops of vanilla ice cream into a pint glass and pour your liquor over the top, both of those bitches! Add your IBC to the glass so that you get the bubbly frothiness and then top it with some whip cream and a quick chocolate syrup drizzle. Stick in some straws and spoons and serve mutha-fucka!

The NPH:

    Simple, Quick, Delicious…..

 

    Done!

   (Kidding, that would be disgusting but I do need to make a drink for this name.)

Basil Bloody Mary:

    This one I put together for a contest and made it to the top 16 out of 300 entries. It is a pretty simple twist on a classic. Think tomato basil soup in a glass with alcohol you bastard!

 

-1-1/2oz of vodka

-tomato juice

-basil

-kosher salt

-black pepper

-tabasco

-Worcestershire sauce

-lime

   

 

    First, pour your vodka into a mixing tin and slap your basil around like a red headed step child to wake it up before tossing it into the tin. Muddle the two together lightly and then add some ice. Add a pinch of kosher salt, 2 to 3 splashes of tabasco, 2 splashes of Worcestershire, a squeeze of lime, black pepper and then your tomato juice. Shake the hell out of this mixture and pour it into a glass with a salted or peppered rim and top off with some fresh ice.  Feel free to garnish with olives, celery, or those damn little banana peppers. Serve… and never google the term Bloody Mary under images.