What This Blog Should Be...

It has been a few years since I have written anything for this blog. When I started it my goal was to write about my life and journey to make up for the lost time of my life from the four years previous. I had hoped it would be a tale of debauchery and drunken idiocy, something equivalent to that of Tucker Max or Hank Moody. It was nothing like that, instead, the pendulum swung the other direction. I spent the past few years growing more than I ever would have expected. 

I had this idea that since I was in a committed relationship from the age of 21 to 25 that I had let a great deal of the those crazy moments escape me and it was time to catch up, so while some of my closest friends were having kids or getting divorced, I wanted to try psychedelic mushrooms or sleep with a multitude of loose women. I was fresh out of a breakup that was not my choice so I obviously was not in my right mind. I started by spending most nights drunk. Actually, it was every night. If I was not out with a friend in Dallas then I was sitting in a dive bar drinking with 50 year old addicts and failures. I would drink enough to get to sleep at night and go into work hung over every morning. I nearly lost my job over it. This probably sounds depressing or pitiful, and it was, but the truth is, I would not trade those days for anything.

It was those days that led me to meeting new people and those new people who gave me reasons to drink in high spirits instead of low. I spent the next few months, no, years re-learning who I was and began to love myself. The stories that I thought I would write in this blog all changed. I was living life but the stories were not about sowing my oats or destroying myself, instead they are about appreciating who I am, growing as a person, and learning to love myself. I have not written any of those stories here because I quickly realized that my story is not the same as someone else’s. I have kept most of those stories to myself because they were the exact opposite of what this blog was supposed to be but now, I look back and realize that those were the stories I should have told, the only problem is that no matter how I tell them, you would not understand them unless you live them yourself. 

What I can say is this, never look at a decision you have made and see it as a mistake. Don’t regret those past relationship or choices. Don’t regret what you did on a whim. It is those decisions that can shape your life, it is those decisions that could take you from drinking yourself to sleep, to sleeping soundly knowing you are appreciated and loved.

Wasted Technology

    I am laying here in a truck bed looking up at the moon while sipping on a whiskey and coke. I turned my Xbox on once tonight but never managed to turn the T.V. on.

    I have been stuck in this thought today about technology. How we are using it for everything now and how much it is complicating our lives. We are swiping our way through the day and letting it pass us by. I know you have all had the same thought at least once this month if not this week. I know we have all heard to use it less but somehow we continue to suckle at the tit that is the World Wide Web like it is the only way to satisfy our craving of a drug that is all around us. The Internet is the fucking tobacco of technology. It's accessible, it's fairly cheap, and both are mixed with additives to keep you hooked. One had nicotine and cyanide while the other has sexuality and cat videos.

    We meet singles through websites and apps. With a split second you can now decide if someone is below you by swiping left or right. (If you didn't catch the double entendre then go back and try it again). What happened to a fair chance of at least making a real first impression by letting someone walk up to you, say hi or drop a line, offer to buy you a drink, and get shot down decently to their face. Now we get the mystery of wondering if they will swipe right or message back.

    We self-diagnose everything we can from personality disorders to illness to spirit animal types and then we try to argue with experts. Have you tried telling your shaman that you are not a North American black tailed deer, they don't like it!" Seriously though, quit trying to tell your doctor what
Web M.D. thinks you have, they had to struggle to get to that level of their career which is why they take all of your money when you go to them. Also please consider that Web M.D has similar symptoms for every illness.

    We communicate through it. The last voice I heard on my personal phone was my dad’s and that's because he only got an iPhone a month ago and is just now learning how to text! I can't be too mad at this one though because I spend all day on the phone and the last thing I want to do when I get home is listen to someone else on the phone. Give me the details in a nice text and we are done. Talking on the phone is for politicians and newlywed couples.

    We share with it, and although sharing is caring we end up over sharing. I am the biggest over sharer I know but not online, no, in person, to people I know, and like. I will talk about almost anything in my life and yet for some reason I'm not near being the worst. I don't need to know that you are taking a grunt in the Ikea bathroom which coincidentally happens to be next to the bathroom furniture and decor section. I don't need to know that you are more outraged by Mufasa being shot than you are any human being, ever. I don't need to see the pictures of your kids first bath; those are things you share to the people closest to you and not the whole world. (Look who's being a hypocrite).

    About the only thing we don't use it for was its original intention. Long distance homework slam sessions. It was made to be a learning tool, to allow us to trade information and open our horizons. I don't know how many times a day I have to look at someone and simply say, "did you google it?” I Google things ten times a day and on a slow day probably 15 or 20; I constantly have questions and want answers. What is wrong with people that they now walk up and ask, "Where’s Starbucks?" Oh I don’t know I think there is 15 in a 4 mile radius but if you want an exact one why not GOOGLE IT!

It’s not a bad thing to have to exercise your mind a bit by writing and reading even if it is 5 words and a paragraph.

    Allow me to summarize my cynical rant; people are wasting this great tool in order to give themselves a quick burst of satisfaction, to release their endorphin's, to get their rocks off. We are growing lazy and bored and instead of struggling for a real high we are like rats in a cage pushing the button for our fix. Step back for a moment, open a book, pick up a pen, build something or go out and have a conversation. Any of it is more exciting than wasting your life lost in the small screen and stalking through Facebook, but then again maybe I'm just being the ass and someone should let me know.