Showing posts with label Weird. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Weird. Show all posts

Monday, February 2, 2015

Who Hasn't Been There?


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Let us go back to a simpler time together, just for a moment. Take a few deep breaths and think back to when you were younger. Do you remember your favorite toy? Can you picture the layout of your room and that poster on your wall that you thought was so cool? Now remember the feel of your bed and your sheets. Picture yourself lying in that bed with the comforter pulled up.

Imagine it is raining outside, but not just raining, it is a heavy rain hitting your window. The thunder tears through the air and the lighting flashes every so often and illuminates the room while casting long shadows on the walls of every nick-knack. When the thunder fades you can hear a faint thudding sound in the distance. It isn’t a slow thud but it is not fast either, it is just constant, like the tick of a clock. The thunder cracks loudly and scares you out of your bed; you never were a fan of thunder when you were younger.

Now picture yourself walking through that dark room, past your toys and dresser and into the hallway. While you stumble down the hall your path is lit for brief moments by the lightning and then it quickly goes dark again.  You feel your way past the restroom and notice the thud again in the silence.

Thud-Thud-Thud-Thud….

Thud-Thud-Thud-Thud….

Thud-Thud-Thud-Thud….

You notice the rhythmic sound getting louder as you move down the hall. You place your hand against the wall and lean against it as you come to a door. The door is cracked and as you reach to open it a loud boom of thunder tears through the night. Your heart jumps and you stop for a moment, then the lighting ignites the darkness. You see the light cut through the crack in the door and you notice a dark form moving. You stop and stare, curious what it was you saw.

BOOM! More thunder

CRACK! More Lightning

You pier through the slit and notice the shady figure moving up and down, but this time something seems familiar about it. You recognize the shape and notice it moving to the rhythm of the thud. The light doesn’t seem to fade in the room as you look directly at the silhouette and realize what it is. You quickly turn around and run back to bed, jumping under the covers and hiding your face in your pillow...You just witnessed parental sex.

The Very First Post...2.0

    I sit here currently eating Beef Stroganoff and binge watching Friends while trying to establish a blog. Why a blog, I don’t know. Chandler just asked his friends, “How do you know if you want to do it in an elevator?” That is a legitimate question, one that deserves answering.


How Do You Know If You Want To Do ”IT” In An Elevator?
   
    The first thing to consider when debating this question is simple… Are you afraid of being caught? Most sensible people in the world are either respectful enough to keep their adult situations behind closed doors, or to afraid to be caught in such throws of passion. Why? Why are we afraid to be caught ass naked in public with someone that makes our heart rate sky rocket more than a 32oz Monster energy drink? It is illegal and costly so that is why…but it is also why it is fun! The excitement of getting caught may be what pushes people to have sex in elevators. At this point I think the answer is simple… and I am also just rambling really to overcome writers block which we will get to. You just know if you want to have sex in an elevator! I must declare that the original question is rather flawed…who is riding an elevator so long that they have time to have sensual, and successful sex in said elevator? Did you somehow manage to reserve an elevator inside of the Empire State Building just so that you can bone for a brief ride to the top? If anything, elevators are more of a four play place and the destination should be your sex spot…aka the roof or lobby!


Writers Block:

    I constantly find myself out in the masses or sitting at work thinking about anything that comes to mind. The World, The Economy, The way that the male and female brains work, and then as I dive deeper I begin to create these thoughts that I want to share. Finally I told myself that I was going to start a blog and relay these thoughts with homes of receiving debate and conversation. The day has come, I am here, now, sitting at this screen and it shines violently back at me with mockery. I am unable to think of a single thing to write about. Instead of addressing the damage Online Dating has done to the dating world or the flaws of musical bigotry all I can manage to muster up is… Sex in an Elevator. The muse is cruel is she not?