Why Ashley Madison is Ruining Your Life.

    You can’t escape it, and be honest a part of you probably doesn’t want to escape you. You may have even come across this because you were planning to dive deeper into it. Ashley Madison is everywhere right now and everyone wants to know the dirty little secret their not in on. Is your better half not any better, is your religious figure head seeking a side of sin, or maybe your local newsman is making their own headlines.

    I have news for you, we have all fallen victim to the Ashley Madison hack, yes, all of us! Your kids have also fallen victim to it and even our elders! I don’t mean that everyone has signed up for Ashley Madison and been found lusting for some strange, what I mean is it is affecting all of our lives. It is on every radio and news outlet across the U.S and it is tearing apart good and wholesome families like the Duggars! I’m sorry you can’t see the smart-ass grin on my face when I type that but just imagine that it is there.

    First, let us all understand something, depending on which site you use to check your e-mail addresses will depend on if you were “compromised” or not. I would highly suggest you avoid Trustify.info because it is hoping to sell you a service that will hide your leaked information but it will contact every e-mail address you plug in and of the four addresses of mine I could remember using since the Internet came out all four were “compromised.” Let me clarify, I wouldn’t doubt that hormonal driven 13 year old me would have signed up for something like this even though I had no credit card, but I am also certain Ashley Madison did not exist when I was 13.

    That being said, when I used the site: 

https://ashley.cynic.al/

    None of those 4 e-mail addresses were found and there were no e-mails coming to me to report that they had been tested along with no products to buy. Allow me to summarize this point, since people love their privacy so much someone has decided to take advantage of this hack and use it as a business opportunity to scare all of the sheeple into spending money. This is how most of us have been affected by this Hack.

    Second, your poor children and elders are now confused as to why the middle generation is running around in fear of some lady named Ashley Madison. The children now equate her to being the Boogie-man’s wife and the elders assume she is running for president on a democratic stance that will turn American into a communist nation. In all seriousness, children are not dumb and they are going to ask you what Ashley Madison is so be ready to lie and just tell them it’s daddy or mommy’s work friend. The elders are going to lecture you all about how in their day they didn’t need a website to cheat; they just waited till the other one went to war. Either way we are all stuck listening to the stupid repeated news coverage of this stupid story.

    The best part of all of this though is how many people are so surprised and shocked by it. People are upside down about the idea that 40 million people have signed up for this site and had their information shared. Out of the United States 321,569,738…9…740 shit it will not stop going up and I know one of those people who were just born… ok sorry back on point, of the U.S’s  population that is roughly 8% of the population who signed up for this site. Keep in mind, that doesn’t consider people who are under-age or not online. 8% big deal, the real problem is that people are so afraid to admit who they really are in fear of being judged

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    We all have our kinks, our perversions, and our twist of lemon in our tea. People are freaking out because they don’t want to be labeled a cheater or sinner or a kink. We are all so focused on putting on this mask that makes us look clean that we forget that we all have stains on our clothes and if anyone wants to judge you on the fact that you accept how you want to enjoy your life then they are probably guilty of something the same or possibly just as “dirty.” I’m not saying we accept every perversion, I’m not condoning things that guys like Dahmer, Bundy, or Fogle do; there are lines, but what does it matter that someone is trying to extort you for money because you cheated, you knew your marriage was shit, you had all right to seek outside help in any form, and you should own the choice you made. Then again, maybe you’re mad because someone took away your decision to fess up or not.

    P.S. the views and ideas expressed in this article are simply comedic satire based off one man’s opinion who could give two shits how you live your life as long as you understand you have no room to judge anyone else you dirty dirty piece of shit.

    P.P.S really, we shouldn’t judge each other anyway, all that does it create un-needed hatred. 

Poetry I wrote

Nick & Sam's: A Dallas Steak House

    After a long time I finally scrounged around for some money in all of the couch cushions and car cup holders and decided to grab a bite at a restaurant I had never tried. The lucky winner was Nick & Sam’s off of Maple Avenue in Dallas. I was meeting friends there for a small celebration of potential life but that does not apply to this review.

    Nick & Sam’s is your typical Uptown restaurant, its hip, its modern, it pays homage to the classics, and it requires you to valet park. Congratulations and thank you to the Nick & Sam’s valet team, it is not often you get to drive a 2007 Honda Civic with a missing wheel cover and 3 inches of dirt on it but you did well and took great care of her! Upon entering Nick & Sam’s I was quickly confused by the sight, to my left there appeared to be a cocktail area but it was hard to tell with everyone standing in masses with glasses in their hands. I quickly confirmed that it was a wine bar and behind that where I met my party was the bar and what must have been the cocktail area.

    We stood there between the two rooms trapped in what Limbo must be like; to our left was a dark but cool colored room that was overly crowded but very active, much like I imagine hell. Left of us, was a warm and open waiting area with community tables that were basically standing room only and wine selections covering the walls. I imagine this is what it would be like to get into heaven, waiting for Saint Peter to call your name while you admire the offerings but cannot touch. Also there were busty women in cocktail dresses moving back and forth between the rooms but let’s be honest, both heaven and hell will have its fair share of breasts.

    After a twenty minute wait we were lead back into another dining room, one that was very large with lovely arched ceilings and beautiful crisp lighting. It looked into the kitchen where all of the magic happens and I must say this truly did give one the feeling of heaven on earth, but much like any euphoric feeling of bliss it quickly passed as I flew to close to the sun and landed in the back dining room that resembled a modern take on a New York steak house; Warm woods, its own private bar and plenty of interesting art on the walls. I should mention this; all of the art in Nick & Sam’s is created by independent artists and if I remember correctly, for sale. This room reminded me of everything I ever wanted in my own bar back when I was bright eyed, bushy tailed, and 21.

    Behind us was the entrance to another private dining room with a long community table that was styled very much like our own. After settling in our server came to the table, I am uncertain what his name is now but he could very well be the son of Thomas F. Wilson, you know, Biff from Back to the Future, but only more lanky. He greeted us and gave us the typical script that every 5 star restaurant gives you, especially when they are about to impregnate you with their food child for the first time.

    Okay enough about the décor and atmosphere, let’s talk about the food. They started us off with a complimentary plate of caviar with onions, chives, some whipped egg whites, and some other stuff on the side. I personally had never tried caviar because I missed that day in culinary school and was easily convinced that now was the time because it is not often that someone lays down a plate of fish roe in front of you for free. I waited for two of my companions to try it first, the one to my left swallowed and stated that caviar has been over hyped and he was not impressed. His younger brother to my right explained how he was in fact, wrong, and that it was very delicious. I scooped a bit onto a toast point and tossed it back in order to be tie settler and was very surprised, I mean who pays that kind of money to eat what taste like dirt from the bottom of a lake? There is nothing appetizing or appealing to caviar, it is simply a status symbol of food and a waste of time and chewing muscles! From there, I opened the menu to decide what to have and was quickly lost in the wine list, not because it was first in the menu but because I had managed to miss the food entirely and end up in the cabernets. While scanning the wine list I noticed that they did not offer a 2015 Franzia or Barefoot cabernet from Sonoma County so I decided to settle for a Zinfandel but still could not manage to find one I was familiar with. We decided to settle for something else.

   

    Moving on, my three companions ordered salads while I had a Jim Beam and Coke along with a glass of Malbec that had come from the bottle we ordered for the table. I must say that Las Perdices 2013 Malbec is really opened up in flavor when paired with Jim Beam; it releases the earthy tones more and makes it a much smoother taste than the Malbec normally has. The salads came out and I was taken aback, for the cost I would expect to not have to cut my own Caesar salad! I will admit that the mozzarella and beefsteak tomatoes with basil, or as most would call it Caprese salad, did come out looking like art on a plate. It was vibrant and had depth and looked very appetizing. 

    After or salads, and alcohol, Biff returned to the table to explain the steak cuts to us using a large ceramic tray displaying each cut in its raw form.  The tomahawk cut looked amazing but how would I manage to get that bone home for my canine companion without wrapping it up in a napkin and sticking it in my back pocket. I decided to go with an off menu cut that Biff said was a Kentucky style although it tasted much more like Kansas to me. The cut was thick and had a great marbling of fat on the edges which is something you like to see when you are spending more on one meal than you do on a week of groceries. When the steak came out I was hungry and very happy to fill my stomach with what had to be five times the daily suggested amount of protein but I will say this, when you are cooking a steak that thick it requires so much work to get the internal temperature high enough to make it safe that you have to obliterate the outside and that is exactly what happened. The exterior tasted more like crispy ash than it did steak and although the inside made up for that by being pink and juicy it makes me question why high end places choose to cut so thick and fail to season. I would have happily devoured a steak half the thickness with a more even cook and plenty of flavors for a fraction of the price less but this wasn’t Outback.

    The sides were phenomenal, the sautéed broccoli was perfectly cooked, the garlic mashed potatoes were smooth and creamy, although lacking in garlic, the mac was warm and flavorful, but the “Damn Good” fries are being over sold. I will say it again, do not trust the “Damn Good” part of the fries because they are simply fries, warm and crispy, made in house, fries. There is nothing that makes them great let alone damn good, the proper name should be mediocre fries or maybe even, “Just Fries.”

    After splitting the check three ways and tipping, you should always tip, we made our way out when a flashing puff of cotton candy caught my eye. I don’t even want to know why they serve edible storm clouds but the idea seems cool. My party stepped out of the doors and waited for out vehicles and I quickly thought to myself just how nice the night was even though it was outside of my standard price range and it’s steaks and sides could easily be replicated at home for a fraction of the price. I reminded myself that we don’t go out just for the food, but for the memories and experience and that Nick & Sam’s was just that, a place to have an experience and make some memories. As my car pulled up I was also reminded of the ten I found in the couch cushion and handed it to the valet before hopping back into my filthy Civic and driving off down Maple Avenue with my axel screeching and an empty pocket reminding me that it would probably be another year before Yelp ever saw another review from me…

    To summarize, Nick & Sam’s is a modern take on the old school New York steak house with the typical high prices you pay when going out to experience the atmosphere and satiate your appetite. I would suggest going if you can afford such places and/or are celebrating a big occasion like an engagement. If you think that Red Lobster is fancy then this is not the place for you, but don’t let that deter you from trying it. I would give Nick and Sam’s an overall 4 stars because it is an interesting place that caters to the upper class of the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex. 

Shopping: A Poem

James Thornquist

8-11-15

7:14am

If we are all so into window shopping then maybe that explains the exchange policy.

Put me in the back on the clearance wrack because I’m tattered, torn and full of holes.